More Pictures

Here are more pictures of my weekend in El Paso. My brother got home Sunday morning in time to get dressed and go to church with me. We went ahead and attended Stephen's bilingual Bible study, which was based on one of the Romans chapters...was it? I can't recall exactly but I do know that we discussed false prophets quite a bit.

Anyway, here I am in Bible study with Jaden. He got fussy after a while and that's when I handed him to his momma. That's as far as I will go concerning babies at the moment. I like it that way. Isn't he the cutest? He's the apple of his parents' eyes, that's for sure.

Here's Jaden, enjoying playing with his aunt Luz. I am positive this boy will grow up to be a pilot. He enjoys flying over the head of those who can hold him up.

Well, I'd upload more pictures but unfortunately, my computer and the Residence Inn internet (which is across the street from my apartment so I can somewhat pick up their wireless) tend to disagree. I'll try to upload more once I head to the library sometime on Monday after my morning interview for a temporary three week job opportunity. I will be starting a try out position with Datex, a printing company, on July 7th. If it works out, I will be hired full time for a Monday thru Friday, 8am to 5pm job, $8 an hour. Please pray that one works out for me so I can finally have a full time job and earn some money to pay my bills.

Love y'all!

Doing Okay

Still don't have a job, but at least I got to go to El Paso for the weekend and see my grandmother as well as meet my boy Jaden Timothy Heimer.

My grandmother is doing okay but not the kind of okay that means she'll be around for another year. She's pretty much given up and is ready to die but her children won't let her. I was glad that Good Shepherd gave me the opportunity to see my grandmother one last time. She's always been a big woman but I was so shocked when I saw her because she's gotten so tiny. I never realized my grandma could be that small.

Good points of my three day weekend in El Paso ( I left Friday the 13 and came back to Waco on Monday the 16) is that I spent some quality time with Jaden Timothy Heimer. He easily became my favorite baby. Here are some pictures.
This was Sunday morning, after the English service was done. I actually met him on Saturday afternoon but I didn't have my camera so I didn't get a picture. He loves gnawing on things and I think he especially loves water.



I also got a picture of Jaden with my little brother, the PFC soldier that just got back from Iraq and I haven't seen in over two years. It was great getting to see him again.

It was hilarious watching my little brother holding Jaden. He did artillery up in Iraq and delt with weapons, explosives and such and yet, when I handed him the baby, he looked seriously freaked out. It was hilarious.

I'll put up more pictures later. I need to head home since I've been hanging out with Kevin and his family all day.

Thank you for the prayers. Please continue praying for me. I'll hear about a possible job in the middle of next week. I really want this job. I'll tell y'all more about it after I find out that I got it. Take care!

Breaking Point

Every night, before I go to bed, I can't help but wonder what God wants from me.

Everything is piling up and it seems like there's an expected moment, a time where I am suppose to do something or desist from doing something for God to be placated. As you can very obviously see, God and I are not in good terms.

I am still talking to Him, well, more like screaming and demanding an explanation as to His plans for me.

Is Waco where I'm suppose to be? Did I jump the gun moving here? Should I have stayed in Tulsa or moved to El Paso?

Is this whole situation a matter of trusting God with everything I have, which at this point, isn't much? Is there a need for me to be broken into so many pieces that only God can put me back together? Is that why things are the way they are?

I don't know because God has not given me the answers to any of my questions.

My life as it is at this moment sucks. I've turned in applications, I've filed for unemployment (which is somewhat embarrassing...I don't want unemployment benefits...I want a job), I went to an agency that helped in the searching of jobs.

The good thing, though, is that I have an interview this coming Tuesday at noon with the American Life Company...what is it exactly...insurance. Please pray that I am the right person for the job...which I will be with the training they offer.

Now, my other beef with God at the moment is my family situation. My grandmother is really sick and it looks like she won't make it through the week. My mother called me yesterday to inform me, and I understand she was hurting and not thinking, but she made me feel guilty and like a total duchbag because I told her I had no way of heading down there after she asked me if I could come home. I wasn't lying...it's not like I don't want to see my grandmother before she dies...in fact, I would very much like to say good-bye to her. Unfortunately, I was being honest when I told my mother that I had no financial means to go home for a couple of days.

She hasn't called me since yesterday so either my grandmother is still alive or my mother is not talking to me. I just hope that the people I went to for help, i.e. Pastor Busch and the good people of Good Shepherd in Tulsa, will be able to help me, even if it's just going home for two days.

If things do come through for me, I will be getting on a Greyhound bus tomorrow morning and returning on Monday, which means I will arrive Waco at 8:40 in the morning on Tuesday, which gives me time to shower, eat and prepare for that interview at noon.

Please keep me in your prayers, both my job situation and my family situation. Especially keep my mother in your prayers...she's hurting and losing her mother and wants her children to be with her and I am not sure if I will be able to.

God Plays Baseball

I have come to determined that God is a pitcher. The kind that sends you surprising pitches when the game looks bleak...in other words, He enjoys throwing curveballs.

That's right, curveballs are my weakest links. I always tend to miss them. I think I'd rather attempt to hit the high ones.

"Hey Kit...lay off the high ones."
"I like the high ones."
"Mule."
"Nag."

A quote from my favorite movie comes to mind as I deal with God's curveballs. Today's curveball came at the most inopportune moment...as I pulled into the Michael's parking lot.

I headed out of my apartment this morning around 9:30 to start doing some job hunting. My goals were to hit up Michael's, Hastings, Mardel's, Barnes and Noble and Target. Of course that didn't work...well, at least I got an application from Michael's.

Anyway, as I pulled into the Michael's parking lot, my horn started going off in random spurts, then the most embarrassing thing happened as I pulled into a parking spot -my horn just kept going. This lasted for about fifteen minutes while I yelled into my phone at my step-dad so he could hear me and tried my hardest to be able to hear him tell me what to do.

Finally, a guy from the RAC next to Michael's came out with a pair of pliars and loosened the bolt of my car battery, thus shutting off my horn yet leaving me without any mode of transportation. Needless to say, I lasted thirty minutes on the phone with my step-dad, trying to figure out what fuse to pull out and where the horn was when I finally gave up and called a tow truck to take my car to Lynch Auto Repair, which Kevin had given me the number to.

So I don't have a car for the rest of today, plus I am spending $50 on the towing and only the Lynch people know how much to get my horn taken care of and my car running again. This means more money going out of my savings account while I have yet to find a way to get money going in.

Last night, I layed in bed and prayed. I don't understand yet why I am here but I know there's a reason God has brought me this far. I am living day to day, learning that God takes care of those He loves yet feeling so adrift because I don't know what's going to happen next. If my being in Waco is a test in learning to trust God, I am not sure whether I'll be able to pass that test.

Please continue praying for me. I need to find a job. I need to make a living somehow while I wait on God. Money isn't going to fall out of the sky even though, technically for me, it has before.

Trust in God...easier said than done.

Waco, Texas

Not yet twenty-four hours in Waco and I've already done more social things than I did in Tulsa for a whole year.

I arrived Waco around 3:30PM and finished unpacking my car by 5PM. My apartment is 540 square feet...I didn't know exactly what that meant but after opening my front door, it became quickly aparent...it means small apartment. At first, I was really shocked but after a while, I realized that as one person, that is all the space I need.

It has been interesting so far...right outside my bedroom window facing the street is a hotel...my other window facing the site next to my apartment complex is a fire training station...in other words, rookie firefighters being trained...have I mentioned that I like firefighters? I am looking forward to sitting by my window and watching them do their thing...maybe even get shirtless?

Down the hallway from my apartment, downstairs, is the laundry room, mailboxes and the pool. I've decided to take up early morning swimming.

After I finished unpacking, I packed an overnight bag and headed to the Hoover library to meet with Kevin. I followed him to his place to drop off my stuff...and since I had only had teriyaki jerky and water for food all day, we went to Cheddar's for dinner, which is where I met his parents. His parents, Paula and Tracey, were already there having dinner, so we joined him. It was good food...I got the Dijon Chicken with Mushrooms.

Afterwards, we headed to the McLennan Community College for a free concert. They have this beautiful outside atrium, with the Brazos River running behind it. We got to listen to "After Midnight" (rock-n-roll) and "The Morticians" (oldies) for about four hours. Kevin and I shared a Dr. Pepper snow cone...it was fun.

This morning, Kevin and I headed to the Human Resources. I took my Customer Service and Typing tests (scored an 86% on the first one and a 65wpm on the second one) and now all I have to do is wait. My problem is that I don't like the idea of waiting a whole week before I find out if anyone of them is interested in hiring me. I am really hankering for the Customer Service Rep with the Police Support Services, so please keep that in your prayers. Also, I got a copy of my dispatcher application to head to the Police Department for further extensive application and testing but for some reason, just thinking about working there gave me this sick feeling. So I decided to not do the dispatcher job. Hope that doesn't come back to bite me in the butt.

We then drove to St. Mark Lutheran Church, Kevin's home church, and I got to meet Pastor Price and Pastor Garcia. I am hoping to get involved but since Hispanic Ministry is the only working ministry St. Mark has, it looks like that may be where I need to be. Get the experience...perhaps discover that I do have a passion for something that people keep pigeon-holeing me into.

I am hoping to help with VBS, even if it's just doing crafts with the kids. I'll meet the VBS coordinator on Sunday. This should be an interesting experience, doing church ministry in a volunteer basis after a year of working professional ministry. Also, I found out that there's a group of guitarist that play for the Spanish service...I think I may get involved in that, learn to play a whole different style of guitar...that should be fun to do.

Kevin treated me to lunch at Chic-fill-a and then drove me around, showing me where things are. So I now know that if I want to find anything, I just go down Valley Mills Drive...kind of like 71st Street in Tulsa, except it is not as far from where I live. I got an application for Hobby Lobby, which is around the corner from where Kevin works. Keep that in your prayers too.

The Hoover Library has free Wi-Fi so I am more than likely going to be spending a good amount of time here whenever I am not at work. Well, that is what's happened since arriving Waco. As you can see, I have been busy and not yet here for more than a day. I will keep you updated about my escapades...which I plan to have plenty of to make up for the lack thereof in the past year.

Saying Good-Bye

It's been a strange year, filled with learning, revelations, sadness and joy. I can't believe how long the year was and yet, how fast it went by.

I will be a DCE Intern for the last time next Wednesday. Next Sunday will be my last Sunday. The last Children's Message I give, the last fellowship reception I attend, the last I see of many of these people that have become so dear to me.

Saying good-bye has never been easy...but then again, I have the joy of knowing I am saying hello to something new.

I have an apartment in Waco and a couple of job interviews and such awaiting. I have a new chapter to start.

These next few days, I will be saying good-bye...so I can get to say hello.

Tribute to My Mother

I just ordered a bouquet of pink tulips to be delivered to my mother as soon as she arrives from visiting her mother.

I feel sad for my mother today because she doesn't have any of her children with her on this special day. My sister is in Alburquerque with her family. I'm stuck in Tulsa. My brother is in Iraq, doing his duty as a soldier.

Not only that, but my mother is well aware that this will be her mother's last mother's day.

What does one do without a mother?

I hope not to need an answer to that question until I am fifty -sixty -or dead. I mean, I know it is unnatural for a mother to have to bury a child, but in all reality, I think it is crippling for a child to have to bury a mother. I don't want to have to experience what my mother is experiencing at this moment.

This is the first time I haven't been with my mother for Mother's Day. The first Mother's Day I celebrated with her, I was close to two months old. The last Mother's Day I celebrated with her was two days before my college graduation. How I wish I could do what I did throughout college...tell my mother that I wouldn't make it for Mother's Day, then have Stephen pick me up from the airport so we could surprise her with Las Mananitas. She fell for it every year.

It is a blessing to have a mother. Not everyone is lucky in this, which is sad. Even though my mother is not perfect, I wouldn't trade her for anyone else's mother. My mother is my hero, my inspiration, my role model. She is the woman I aspire to be someday when it becomes my turn to be a mother to children.

She is a blessing that has been given to me, a wonderful gift from God that I know I will have to return someday...not too soon, though. My mother is strong, faithful, optimistic, caring, giving, loving, sacrificing, loyal, full of life, enterprising, intelligent, hard working. She has had a hard life and yet she continues to move head on because of her children.

My mother is my strong pillar of faith. She is the wind beneath my wings, the muse to my creativity.

My mother is, well, a window into God's own heart.

I understand and bask in God's love because I understand and bask in my mother's love. I understand and embrace God's sacrifice because I understand and embrace the sacrifices my mother has made for me. I understand and cling to God's grace because of my mother's unconditional love. I understand, know and believe God because of my mother.

My mother has done what she was created to do -she is an image-bearer of God, she is a warrior for God, her children, her family and her friends. She has brought forth worshipers...my sister, my brother and myself.

I once read a quote on how C.S. Lewis saw his wife after her death...as a sword in the hand of God. I now understand what he meant...my mother is a lamp, a light, a window and a sword.

She shows me the true living, beating heart of God.