The Land of Oz

Searching for courage, heart and home. That was the purpose to wandering in the land of Oz.

Sure enough, I find myself wandering that same land, searching for the yellow brick road...you know, the one that will lead me to the Wizard of Oz, who may or may not be able to grant me what I need. Sometimes, we tend to see God as the Wizard of Oz. Someone who seems big when we hear of what He has to offer but that, in our eyes, turns out to be a little man behind a curtain, with nothing to offer but disappointment. This is where we are mistaken. Interestingly enough, God does do what the Wizard did with Dorothy, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man. He points out that we had what we are looking for all along. Courage...Heart...and a Home.

So here I am, a month left to my internship, looking for a place to live, a job to do, a way to survive. This definitely takes a lot of courage and heart. Having to start anew. I will be mailing out Waco city job applications this week. I will be mailing my 30 day move out notice to my landlord, I will be finishing my VBS project and making sure all strings are tied. With God's will, I may have an apartment in Waco by next week. Even though I am sending in the lease, deposit and application fee by Friday, it does not guarantee me an apartment. More prayers needed over that.

All in all, it is an interesting situation to be in, this whole starting over again. This time without Concordia's help. I can't help but wonder if I am going to make it, being on my own. Or will I get crushed by the evil witch and her evil flying monkeys? Do I have the courage and the heart to strike out on my own, find my yellow brick road that will lead me home? I truly don't know if I have what it takes. I guess we will just have to see, right?

The Prologue before the Next Chapter

So I got the call yesterday...the Hispanic Mission Society in Valparaiso, Indiana decided to go a different way and so they did not offer me the position. Even though I am glad they didn't offer me the position since I wasn't planning on taking it anyway, I can't help but feel that I am not good enough.

On top of that, the fact that I haven't heard from any churches interested in even interviewing me while my fellow intern friends are getting interviewed (Nevada, Wisconsin, Nebraska...) and are waiting on whether they get the call or not is definitely adding on to that "not good enough" mentality.

Well, I am looking into apartments in College Station. I have to make sure to look in other places and not limit myself to just that one place. Even though living on Aggie Land would be a dream come true for me. I've been thinking of looking into a possible job position in A&M...there's a possibility.

So this is the things that are happening before the next chapter of my life unfolds. I really hate being on limbo but hey...at least I'm sleeping (somewhat) again. That's right, I said I am sleeping again. Last week, I was unable to sleep for about four days. I ended up having to use Tylenol PM but even that didn't work all that well. I realized after talking to my counselor that the idea of going back home, taking that step back into my past, was causing serious anxiety which resulted in my inability to fall asleep and stay asleep.

I promise to update y'all on what the next chapter will entail. I am definitely looking forward to that next step, no matter what it is. Keep me in your prayers that I follow the road chosen by God and not myself.