Aches!

I hurt! But it's a good kind of hurt. I did my first DVD workout yesterday...there's seven of them, each for one day, and they alternate throughout the month. I've got two more DVDs to go through before rest day. So technically, this week, I only work out six days...but if I can actually make it through the six days without slacking off, I will be impressed!

Normally, I can't make it past day three, whether walking, yoga, belly dancing, whatever.

I like this DVD workout I got because it works out EVERYTHING at once instead of isolating one thing at a time. I don't want to work out one thing at a time...that will take too long and I'll look seriously misshapen if I have skinny legs but a big butt or skinny arms but a big tummy. So everything at one...although at this moment, the only thing doesn't hurt is my face...

New Mantra for me: Today is a reality. Tomorrow is a promise. Yesterday is history. Those who think about doing something are passed by those who are doing it.

Becca, schedule for this week...Sun -Basics (DONE!), Mon-Cardio, Tues-Combo Scultp, Wed -Rest Day (I am so looking forward to this! I must drink lots of water this day to flush out toxics and do some slight stretching to flush out lactic acid...call me out on both), Thurs-Ripped Core, Fri-Boot Camp Power, and Sat -Cardio Burn.

Thanks for the accountability...OH! I am filling out your Birthday card to send it out today. Love you!

THE PT 24/7 PROJECT
JOURNAL ENTRY #2

I've change a bit of my goal...I want to be able to get through the entire basic DVD without having to stop or falling behind...which I did yesterday. I probably completed about 50% of the entire workout...but I'll build up to it.

I also need to drink more water....water...water...water...

And I need to learn to snack healthy...

Adios Fat Girl!

I have nothing in my closet that fits me. NOTHING. And this isn't the usual closet full of clothes nothing, but the actual closet full of clothes that are at least one size smaller than me!

I am certain that I've started pushing towards size 22 again...not going to happen!

I am finally seriously fed up...and no matter what, I will no longer cut any slack for that fat girl that's taken over my life.

That declaration may have come too late, or right on time, being that today I start my four week project.

THE PT 24/7 PROJECT
JOURNAL ENTRY #1
Feb. 27th

My goal for this four week project is to be able to wear my brand new size sixteen jeans on my 27th birthday. I would like to lose up to ten pounds for the month but am more concerned with dropping three sizes.

I also would like to achieve the goal of actually completing the four week project and being that I have a schedule of what to do on which day, I have no excuse. I am using my obsessive planning/planner need against me. No more excuses to procrastinate.

I would also like to learn a little more about food and how to eat it...this means I have to start eating breakfast...and I need to learn to snack healthy...and water will become my beverage of choice.

To change my body, I must change my eating habits and exercise habits. To change those, I must change my way of thinking.

It is time I learned to love myself and better myself...all in God's glory.

As I progress on this project of mine, encouragement would be appreciated from all those who read my blogs, whether friends or strangers.

And Becca, you have been designated the accountability buddy...I will send you a copy of the workout schedule so you can email me or leave me a message on facebook asking if I did my work out that day. Don't let me slack!

This project starts with me weighing at 268LBS, a size 22, with atrocious eating habits and no energy whatsoever.

Keep reading to discover the results!

utter evilry

five nights working, tonight off, then back to work on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday...

If there were such things as karma gods, I must have pissed them off....

God...kill me now...'cause I think I'm about to die of utter exhaustion.

Where's grizzly bear when you need one? It doesn't have to be grizzly...I'll take a polar bear, a black bear, a panda bear, a silver tipped bear....

Any bear that would get the job done! Please!

Indulging the Girlie Side According to Luz

This is a How-To indulge the girlie girl in you via my way...

What is needed?

A towel
Wash cloths
Overnight foot cream
Nail Polish Remover
Cotton balls
IZOD kleenex (Thanks Erin!)
Toe nail clipper
Nail file
Cuticle stick
Four sided nail block (evens, smooths, buffs and shines)
NutraNail Flexi-Shield Nair Hardener Clear nail polish
Sally Hansen Nail Growth Miracle Nail Color (the color of the day is Beautiful Berry)
Willy Wonka Waterfall Chocolate Bar
Media Player set on Random
Best friend on AIM

What to do...

Set your Media Player to play on Random (gotta love Nickelback, Poison, Brad Paisley, Conway Twitty, Toby Keith, and many more during a girlie session)

Get your bestie on AIM and reassure her it's okay if she doesn't want to join the relationship rollercoaster you are currently on with the man your currently talking to about said relationship

Wipe your feet clean and apply overnight foot cream to soften them and give yourself a quick relaxing foot massage

Remove nail polish from last girlie session

Clip toenails if necessary

Push back cuticles and make sure you don't make your pinky toe bleed (OUCH!)

Take a bite of Willy Wonka bar...YUM!

Change song because you don't like the one playing...Alison Krause is not a girlie time artist at this moment

Make snarky comment to bestie, who's watching The Dark Knight on Blu-Ray and isn't really paying attnetion to you, but that's okay

File nails to nice round edges, then even them out, smooth them out, make comment to bestie about having ugly toes, buff them, then shine them

Apply single coat of NutraNail Flexi Shield Nail Hardner but before you do, put cotton balls between your ugly toes because you can't find your toe separaters

Change song because you don't really want to listen to Lost and Found at this moment

Once right foot has its coat of Nail Hardener, repeat process with left foot (watch that pinky!)

Once Hardener is dry, apply single coat of Beautiful Berry then admire how pretty your toes look (although they are ugly...makes you think of little alien heads...HELLO EARTHLINGS!!!)

Allow toenails to dry while moving on to fingernails...

Apply hand cream to soften cuticles, then push cuticles back with manicure stick...oh! Take a big bite of Willy Wonka 'cause you've been ignoring him while doing your toes.

Ah! Idea of story hits you so pause process to share it with bestie on AIM

Continue with cuticle pushing...ouch! Don't make your cuticles bleed...too late.

Run to living room after your toenails are dry to show them off to mom...she agrees they look pretty, affirming your need to know if you do indeed have ugly toes...mom says no, so you don't...

Use nail file to shape nails, then use block to even, smooth, buff and shine...admire your shiny fingernails then apply single coat of Nail Hardener...

Make comment to bestie about how you just realized you hate using nail color on fingernails but not on toenails then giggle when she says you're quirky.

Take bite of Willy Wonka.

Attempt typing while your nails are still wet...success! You rock!

Finish Willy Wonka off then get on your blog spot and update your blog with a How To Indulge the Girlie Side According to You...

Oh yes! Update picture of pretty/ugly toes...

Scratch the picture idea...feet and toes look like midget hands in a picture...

Adios and Hasta Luego!

Mean Luz

The RNs and CNAs accuse me of being mean because I tend to compare babies to whatever they remind me of. I know some of my comparisons are a bit...well, not cute, but hey, call it as you see it. I'll do the same thing when it comes time to have my own. But just for fun, here is the baby list comparisons...of course, I won't give you the real name of the babies, what with HIPPA but I will give you the comparison...

1. Baby Michelin Man
2. Baby Monkey
3. Baby Marshmallow Peep
4. Baby Mr. Planter's Peanut
5. Baby Bobble Head ( I wouldn't want to birth this baby...head bigger than his body!)
6. Baby Mandrake from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
7. Baby Smeagle/Gollum from Lord of the Rings
8. Baby Werewolf
9. Baby Rocky (the boxer movies...towards the end after he wins the fight but he's all bruised and eye swollen shut...yeah, the baby had the same look...apparently it was a fight for him to get to earth...or perhaps he was fighting to stay where he was...)

I suppose I could add to the list as more funny and somewhat ugly but cute babies come along...but no promises.

After working five day weeks for the past month and a half, I've got a pretty good idea what a large number of people were doing nine months ago...

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream and Sweet Home Alabama with Becca

It has been so long since I've gotten to just sit back, eat ice cream and watch the friendship movie SWEET HOME ALABAMA with my bestie. For that reason, we decided to make a ice cream and movie date...despite the miles that separate us. And because we are both movie quote nerds, we decided to share as many of the quotes that we can from the movie on a blog and see how many are the same. So no one else needs to read this except the bestie involved.

~*~

"Answer the question."

"No."

"No you won't answer or no you won't marry me?"

"Jake Perry, I'm ten years old. I've got too much to live for."

~*~

"We'll be safe here."

"Says who?"

"Everybody...lightning never strikes the same place twice."

"Why do you want to marry me for anyhow?"

"So I can kiss you anytime I want."

~*~

"Not us, just you. I just make the coffee."

~*~

"One man for the rest of my life? I'd cry my bloody eyes out."

~*~

"He's loud but he don't bite. How may I help you?"

"Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce. Come on, Jake, let's just finish this."

"You're shitting me, right?"

"You know, I never understood that expression but no, I'm not shitting you."

~*~

"Don't pretend that you've missed me."

"Oh, I missed you alright but at this range, my aim is bound to improve."

~*~

"Honey, get your ass back in that car, go see your folks and then maybe we'll talk."

"Don't you honey me, honey."

~*~

"Jake! You dumb stubborn redneck hick! The only reason you won't give me a divorce is because I want you to."

"Wrong! The only reason I won't give you a divorce is because you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothing better than to piss you off!!!"

~*~

"Hey, genius. Next time you try locking someone out, make sure they don't know where the spare key is."

"See, that's the funny think about hideakeys...it'd be nice if your wife told you where it was."

"I'm not your wife, Jake. I'm just...I'm just the first girl to climb into the back of your truck. But you're right...I have changed. I'm not that girl anymore."

"Well, allow me to remind you."

~*~

"You make clothes right?"

"I design them, there's a difference."

"Design anything with stripes?"

"You called the sheriff? You know that old bastard hates me!"

"And with good reason."

~*~

"Did he take a swing at you? Cause if you tell me he took a swing at you, I'll take him right in. We take that kind of stuff pretty serious nowadays."

~*~

"Oh, and I suppose shoplifting steaks at Win Dixies is alright?"

"Oh! Oh! I took them back and you know it!"

"That vandalism down at the stockyard? Totally her!"

"Like I can tip a cow by myself!"

"Wade...isn't there some outstanding warrant for whoever tipped your mama's tractor into the pond?"

GASP

~*~

"Mama, I only have three minutes."

"Oh, honey, you didn't have to call, just come on by."

"Well, see, that's the thing. I was sort of hoping daddy could come and get me?"

~*~

"So what put you in jail this time?"

"Jake and his big fat mouth."

~*~

"Oh, honey, are you tired? You look tired...oh, you know, maybe it's the way you where your hair now."

~*~

"I see your priorities...Jake, jail and then home."

~*~

"The boy's going places."

"Once upon a time you were going places too."

~*~

"You look like sex on a stick in that Gregory Montana get-up."

"Listen Bubba, why don't you just kiss my -ass! Oh my God!"

"Now, listen lady, I don't do that sort of thing out in the street."

~*~

"I guess we all have our secrets, don't we Bobby Ray?"

"I guess we do...course, I read about yours on the internet."

~*~

"Yeah, I gotta get back to the factory but are you in town for a while?"

"God, I hope not...I'm just hitting the bank."

"Well, I'd better scram!"

~*~

"Oh, them things. Russ don't want to put one in on account we lose personal contact with the customers."

~*~

"Cut the shit. Where's my stuff?"

"Now, what kind of wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?"

"The kind that don't live here. I'm going to ask you one last time...where's the hideakey?"

"I had the sweetest talk with Wade's mama about her tractor."

"Nice to see you got your accent back."

~*~

"Holy shit! What happened to the stove? Oh! Where are the little magnets I had over here? What the hell is this...chick food?"

"Lite beer...less calories."

~*~

"Whatever blows your dress up darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money."

"Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as our money."

~*~

"How much did you take?"

"All of it."

"Son of a bitch!"

"You want a wife, you got a wife! And what are you doing with all that cash? Why don't you invest it? Don't you know anything?"

~*~

"I don't ask you about your boyfriend, you keep your nose out of my life. Deal?"

"Who told you?"

"Honey, just 'cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid."

~*~

"Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten years old. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?"

~*~

"Uh-Eh! Batten down the hatches, look who just walked right back into my life! It's my favorite daughter-in-law!"

~*~

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"His name's Andrew. He's in politics."

"Well, he's got my vote."

~*~

"Hell, I've got three more at home. This one's still on the tit so I can cart him anywhere."

~*~

"You must be Jake's hot date."

"I'm Star."

"I'm Melanie, Jake's Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man."

"Hot dog Jake! Look at the size of that thing!"

~*~

"Not her and I us, you and I us."

~*~

"Come on, guys, grab a stick and let's play some pool. If you can't find a cue, pull the one shoved up her ass."

~*~

"Well, see, that's the problem. I'm not a watch and see kind of gal. Am I, Jake?"

~*~

"Like Elton here...he never could get his balls in the right pocket."

~*~

"How can I forget? That's the night Jake got me pregnant."

"Why don't you just go public with that shit?"

"Oh please, like anyone can keep a secret around here...except for Bobby Ray."

"Now, what did I ever do to you?"

"You didn't do anything to me honey...or any other girl in town."

~*~

"I liked her better when she was crazy."

~*~

"Go get them Yankees."

~*~

"People need a passport to come down here."

~*~

"We weren't aiming for you...but I doubt I would of come to your funeral."

"I guess I don't blame you."

~*~

"Damn button trousers...no wonder we lost the war."

~*~

"Aren't you just a big fat liar?"

~*~

"Oh, honey, you drink that from the top."

~*~

"I'm not as clumsy as I look. She just can't keep time."

~*~

"The hell you say. Let me at him."

~*~

"You can't have both wings and roots, Mel. It's one or the other."

~*~

"Fifth regiment! Has anyone seen Earl Smooter?"

"He's about to surrender!"

~*~

"You and I are in love with two different people."

"Is he your second cousin?"

"He's my husband...I mean, ex-husband."

"You married your cousin?"

~*~

"Don't you go accusing me of thinking."

~*~

"For somebody who's been holding on to something so hard, you're pretty quick to let it go."

"Hell, mama, I can't control her anymore than I can control the weather."

~*~

"Well, he may be a Yankee, but at least he's sober."

~*~

"Mr. Beauford...he signed the papers."

"He did...you didn't."

~*~

"Can't ride two horses with one ass, sugar pea."

~*~

"The truth is...I gave my heart away a long time ago. My whole heart...and I never really got it back."

~*~

"You...in my entire life, I have never met anyone so manipulative...so deceitful...and I'm in politics! I won't have the future president of the United States get dumped at the altar by some psycho Daisy Mae. You go after him you little bitch!"

"Now, there's no need for name calling. She spoke her piece and that's all there is to it."

"Oh, go back to your double wide and fry something."

GASP

"Nobody talks to my mama like that!"

"Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!"

~*~

"Hey cowboy! You owe me a dance."

"Nice dress. Where's your husband?"

"I'm looking at him. Apparently, you and I are still hitched."

"Is that right?"

"Yeah...why didn't you tell me you came to New York?"

"I needed to make something of myself."

"You about done?"

"What is it about you Southern girls? You can't make the right decision so you try all the wrong ones?"

"At least I fight for what I want."

"What is it that you want, Melanie? I don't even think you know."

"You're the first boy I ever kissed Jake. I want you to be the last."

"Maybe you and I already had our chance."

"Fine! Have it your way you stubborn ass!"

~*~

"What the hell are you two trying to do? Get yourselves killed?"

~*~

"What she'd do this time, Officer?"

"Seems she ran out on a perfectly good cake."

!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!

Done! Now to publish and compare to Becca's post!

Emergency Update!

So...David's talking to me again...

And he's explained that he wants us to meet first before he gives me his personal information that I've been wanting...I can understand that.

I, in turn, asked if we can slow down until we meet as well...

Still going to do the Cookie Dough and chick flick...

God guide this all the way...

And I will guard my heart...told David just that.

I'm putting a bit of brakes on the rollercoaster that has been getting to know him and vice versa and see what's left.

Mind, Heart and Life

Interesting to find out that when God answers prayers, He doesn't always do it in the order you ask.

It seems David is out of my life...

But that leaves my heart a bit bruised and my mind constantly dwelling on him.

But no worries, I've taken a bit of a Sabbatical, so to speak, to think over what I'm feeling and I've realized that God has guarded my heart the entire time...because what hurts more is a bruised pride and not my heart.

So I'm giving myself up to this Saturday to dwell on what was and what could have been, then I'm closing that chapter of my life with Cookie Dough Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream and the all time favorite chick flick SWEET HOME ALABAMA.

So next blog update shall be Cookie Dough and SWEET HOME ALABAMA with Becca...yes, she's closing this chapter of my life with me too...long distance but she's doing it. For sure, the bestest friend I've ever had.

Thank you for reminding me that I didn't lose...he did. Too bad and so sad for him.

For now, I'm thinking I just need to get to meet people and have some fun, go out on a few dates and just be single for as long as God will let me.

Oh, yes, and study for law school. The LSAT is approaching fast!

One more thing...I am embarking on a four week project that I've titled PT 24/7. The beginning date is February 27th so I have this week to prepare but just thought I'd let you know because you'll start seeing PT 24/7 Journal entries at the end of my blogs for the next four weeks...this project's results will be published in writing and pictures on my 27th birthday, March 27th.

Adios and Hasta Luego!!!

Suicidal

I realized yesterday as I was sightlessly and unfocused-ly driving to work that I've always been suicidal.

There has always been these many different scenarios in my head as to how I can end it all as quickly as possible.

Through God's love and grace, though, no matter how much I hurt or how hopeless it all seems or how angry at the turn my life has taken I may be, that life is still worth living when you have Christ in it.

So I just let my soul curl up into a tiny little pearl, knowing I am held tightly in God's fisted hand.

He'll never let go...and I don't want Him to.

It's One of Those Days

Woke up with my alarm at 7AM, left the house by 7:15AM, got to the lab place by 735AM.

It took me forty-five freaking minutes to pee one ounce into a cup! I drank to pints of water, ran the faucet, thought about crashing waves, did the pee-pee dance and even then, I still couldn't pee into the cup!

My goodness, I was going to end up being there forever! Finally, a trickle and that's it...

At least I was able to fill up four vials of blood in two minutes. Thank goodness for my excellent every phlebotomist's dream veins!

I was out of there in like two minutes before I hit the hour. Headed to McDonald's to buy breakfast and guess what?

I had to pee!

Got home to throw in my scrubs into the washer before eating some breakfast and relaxing 'cause I have a EKG in the afternoon and guess what?

I needed to pee again!

What is up with today?

I woke up in a mood...like in a Texas Revolutionary mood. Little Mexico is on the war path and that's not good...

Let's hope I don't end up screwing something great up but it can't be helped.

Yeah...it's a no touche day. Argh.

After breakfast, guess what?

I had to pee once more!

Well, got to the place for my EKG at 12:15PM, went in at 12:30PM and finally got out at 1PM. They had to redo my EKG four times...they said it was the probes and cables...they weren't placed right, the cables were crossed...really. Your heart is beating just find and it's not all over the scale...it's the probes, we say.

So now I'm starting to wonder...is there something wrong with my heart that it merits four EKGs to make sure the results are right?

Yikes.

So on the drive home from EKG place, I was thinking to myself that I've gotten things screwed up in my head lately what with David coming into my life unplanned and unexpected.

I've actually started thinking that David was my new plan, my new road to walk and who knows, he may be, but that is for God to decide and not me.

God has yet to tell me that my path is changing...so why am I slacking in my studying? Why am I suddenly seeing law school as second choice and David as first choice?

What the potato skins is wrong with my head? So left brain finally made itself heard and said to me:

LUZ, THE ONLY WAY OUT OF EL PASO AND FORWARD INTO THE FUTURE IS NOT THROUGH A MAN...NEVER THAT. IT IS THROUGH GOD, AND THROUGH HIM ALONE. YOUR EFFORTS TO GET INTO LAW SCHOOL SHOULD NOT BE WASTED...YOU SHOULD NOT BE SLACKING OR GIVING UP ON THAT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! GET YOUR BUTT MOVING AND GET TO STUDYING! LAW SCHOOL IS THE WAY TO GO! IF DAVID IS GOD'S PLANS, THEN THAT WILL HAPPEN IN ITS OWN TIME. MEANWHILE, YOU CAN'T JUST SIT BACK AND TWIDDLE YOUR THUMBS WHILE YOUR WHEELS ARE SPINNING. SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU LET OTHERS DO FOR YOU WHAT YOU CAN DO YOURSELF WITH THE HELP OF GOD? GET IT TOGETHER YOU STUPID SILLY GIRL!!!

Yeah, my left brain isn't very nice...sometimes, I'd like to kill it.

Well, that's my Texas Revolution story of the day.

Adios and hasta luego!!!

Oh What A Lovely Sunday

Today I didn't get to hold Livi-girl as much as I wanted to but I did get to have my lovely moment with my Jaden.

I told him I loved him and today, for the first time, he replied "I love you."

That was absolutely great for me!

A great way to celebrate the day before Valentine's.

Adios and hasta luego!!!

The Shadow of the Cross

February 14th is coming up...and it has never, EVER, been a favorite holiday of mine.

The commercialization of the day has left a ashy taste of it in my mouth...

This of course has also been enhanced by the lack of a significant other...but I've learned that Valentine's day is not about that.

It is not about proving your love to someone else by getting them flowers, candy, jewelry, taking them to a fancy dinner with candles and violins in the background.

When did it become about that? In reality, Valentine's day is about standing up for what you believe in...even if that belief leads to death.

Hence comes the history lesson behind the reason for Valentine's day.

During the reign of Roman Emperor Claudius, a verdict prohibiting young people to marry was passed in the belief that young SINGLE soldiers would be better able to concentrate and risk more...after all, they don't have a wife and family back home to return to.

It seemed that during this time, polygamy was much more popular than committed monogamous relationships. In fact, it was encouraged while monogamous relationships between young people was illegalized.

As we all know, there will always be someone who disagrees with an edict like such and find a way to get around it...thus enter a Roman Priest named Valentine. Valentine believed in the sanctity of marriage, but not only that, he believed in marriage within the Christian church...in other words, during the permissive time he lived in, marriage became a vehicle into introducing many into the Christian faith.

So...Valentine began conducting secret marriages...

As does everyone who breaks the law, he got caught in 296 AD and was sentenced to be beaten, stoned then beheaded...wow!

Apparently marrying people illegally was worth a three part sentence.

Now, here's where the all famous "from your Valentine" comes in.

One of those men charged with judging Valentine for his crime was named Asterius. Judge Asterius had a young daughter that was blind.

Prayer for healing over the girl's blindness had such an effect that Asterius became a Christian, and more than likely, so did his daughter.

Before his final sentence (the beheading), Valentine wrote a letter of encouragement to Asterius daughter, signing it "From Your Valentine" and thus became what is known as valentines.

Love is something that changes and matures with time, something that does not need proving because it's there...growing and maturing and changing...always...

So what Valentine's really means "is that there comes a time where you have to lay your life upon the line for what you believe. And with the power of the Holy Spirit we can do that -- even to the point of death." (Father O'Gara)

"Love -- human love and sexuality is wonderful, and blessed by God -- but also the shadow of the cross. That's what Valentine means..." (Father O'Gara).

Quotes and information taken from http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/churchandministry/churchhistory/st_valentine_the_real_story.aspx

Hope you enjoyed the brief history lesson!

So what is this Valentine's day going to be like for me?

Well, I have lab works in the morning...so that involves a needle and my blood.

I have an EKG in the afternoon...so that involves probes and my heart.

LOL. Come to think of it, it seems Valentine's day is going to be right on target for me...

And the good thing this time around is that while I don't celebrate the commercial Valentine's day, I won't be needing to celebrate the S.A.D. day either...you know...Singles Awareness Day.

Why? Because...well...I'm not single anymore...

Break, Withhold, Deny

As was my goal to start studying my Bible on my own again, I finally succeeded the other day. I spent an hour or so studying the first chapter of Hosea, one of my favorite Old Testament prophets.

As was my plan, I'd like to share some of my insights concerning the chapter before I move on to chapter two.

HOSEA 1: The Prostitution of Our Souls

The major themes found in Hosea concern the faithfulness, mercy and unfailing love of God for His people. The comparison of Hosea's marriage to an adulterous woman like Gomer is in direct comparison to the covenantal relationship of God and His chosen ones.

Okay, now to my own insights as I read through the first chapter. Intriguingly enough, it always amazes me when people think that the Old Testament is Law and the New Testament is Gospel. Although I do believe in the direct typology between the Testaments, I don't think that either are just one side of the coin.

The book of Hosea is a perfect example of this. The first chapter starts off with the marriage between Hosea, a prophet of God, and Gomer, a known adulterous woman. This marriage is mandated by God to be used as a visual reference of what the relationship between YHWH and Israel has resulted to.

Background History: During these times, the reigning of Jeroboam in Israel (this is placed sometime around 755 BC to 715 BC), the kingdom was already split in half, one side Judah and the other Israel. Israel was slowly but surely falling into idol worship and other immoral activities such as temple prostitution and orgies for the purpose of pagan rituals. As you can already see, they were prostituting themselves to other gods and other beliefs despite being rescued, time and again, by the one true God, YHWH.

Okay, now out of the history trip and back to the purpose of this blog. As I stated, the first chapter consist mainly of three things...the conception and birth of Hosea and Gomer's three children and the purpose behind their names, which God uses as allusions to His plans for Israel.

This is where the title of the blog comes into place.

BREAK

The first born was named Jezreel, an "ironic allusion to the slaughter at the Valley of Jezreel carried out by Jehu against the house of Ahab, and particularly against Jezebel" (quote from Archeological Study Bible: NIV). That particular story can be found in 2Kings 9:1 -10:11 if you're interested in reading up on it, but that's not my point.

Jezreel was named as such because God stated that due to the spilling of blood in the Valley of Jezreel, he would "put an end to the kingdom of Israel. In that day [He] will break Israel's bow in the Valley of Jezreel." (Hosea 1:4b-5)

Jezreel was the first action that God would take against Israel for it's prostitution with other gods.

WITHHOLD

The second child born from the union of Hosea and Gomer was Lo-Ruhamah, a daughter named as such to show that God will "no longer show love to the house of Israel, that [He] should at all forgive them" (Hosea 1:6b).

Lo-Ruhamah means "not loved," a name chosen by God to foretell the withholding of His love-mercy to the adulterous people of Israel. I found it interesting that in the two different versions I am reading (I always like using two to three different Bibles to study one chapter due to the different vocabulary used) this verse had one word difference. That word was love. In the e-sword NIV version I use on my computer, the word used in place of love was mercy.

This change in one word got me to thinking...is love mercy? Are they interchangeable? Or are they simply synonyms of each other?

To show mercy would be to show love. And to show love would be to have mercy.

This stuck in my brain and it is still something that is percolation there at the moment. More on that later.

DENY

The third child was a son born soon after Lo-Ruhamah was weaned. This son was named Lo-Ammi, "for you are not [His] people and [He] is not your God" (Hosea 1: 9). It is the denial of being Israel's God that hit me the most.

Due to a covenant made with Abraham (Genesis 15), God claimed that all of his descendants would be His chosen people...and yet, due to their prostitution to pagan gods, YHWH denied them as His people...declared He was no longer their God.

TO SUMMARIZE

All this was done not because God is capricious but because of Israel's faithlessness and inability to give God His rightful place as their God. Instead, they worshiped false idols and fell into immorailty through pagan orgies and temple prostitution.

For this reason, God punished Israel, teaching them that He alone has the power to unearth and to sow, the power to wipe and to create, the power to disclaim and claim. God alone can hold or let go of Israel.

PERSONAL MUSINGS

The questions as I began studying Hosea was: how does this relate to my own life and my own actions?

I realized that by allowing other things, whether it be drugs, sex, money, or even my own pride, independence and self-reliance, not to forget the penchant to worrying without seeking God, I take away His rightful place as the One and Only true God in my life.

Prostitution can easily be defined as the lack of respect for what has worth and value. It is the same as taking a valuable diamond and throwing it into the coal bin...it does not belong there.

I constantly prostitute myself to my worries, my desires, my wants and my capricious nature. I constantly seem to want to do God's job in my life, taking away His rightful place as the One who dictates and leads my life down His chosen path, not mine.

Why is it that I forget so easily that God has chosen to love me and show me mercy, that He has covered me with His mighty hand and said "You are mine, I've chosen you, died for you and live for you so that you may have eternal life with me...in me"?

How come I have to be constantly broken like a bow in the Valley of Jezreel to be able to see that I am, once again, prostituting myself to the idols and pagan gods of this world...a world I do not even belong to. My soul is in God's hands, my life in His plans, and yet, I turn away, again and again, and only in pain do I turn back to God, do I come back to be forgiven, healed and loved...then I go and do the same once again.

A prostitute, a sinner...I am unfaithful, soiled and unworthy of the passionate love of my God.

The very idea of Him denying me as His child makes my soul cringe...can you imagine the darkness and desolation that would result in being denied by God?

To be broken is to be healed. To be withheld is to be given to overflowing...to be denied...the agony is unimaginable and only one person experienced that total darkeness...Jesus Christ on the cross..."My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Mark 15:34).

Thanks to His Son experiencing that denial of YHWH, I won't have to...ever.

I praise Him for loving me despite it all, for breaking me again and again so that I may, one day, learn to keep my hand in His and no longer try to tug away and go on my own way.

Thank you LORD for Your sacrifice, for Your love, and even for the breaking of my sinful nature.

Painful it may be, but healing is what You seek...it's what I need.

TO CLOSE

It's been a while since I've done a personal Bible study on my own...and I've forgotten how good it feels to be able to share my discoveries and thoughts of what I study and learn. Scripture is the breath in our lungs as believers and followers of Christ...

So I've realized, and I hope to remind myself again and again, that not studying Scripture is the equivalent of holding my breath...it's uncomfortable and not to mention deathly.

Hope y'all learned something new and have reached out to God, thanking Him for breaking you, for giving you mercy-love, and for denying His Son Jesus Christ so that you would no longer be denied by Him.

Selfish and Self-Centered

I unintentionally hurt a very close friend yesterday. Without meaning to or even thinking about it, I made her feel like she wasn't good enough to help me out during my freak out session.

I have my moments when I can't seem to see beyond my nose and look at what others are feeling and thinking...unfortunately for this sinner, those moments are more often than my selfless moments.

Because of those moments, I find myself hurting others with my inability to look beyond my own petty problems and crisis in a glass and see that they are simply trying to help me focus on what's truly the only answer -the all encompassing control of God and His love.

I beg for your forgiveness Becca, for being so focused in myself that I wasn't able to see that you were simply doing what was right -pointing me towards the cross. Don't think your efforts went unnoticed...thanks to your reminder to pray over what was scaring me, I did just that...out loud on my way to work.

You are right -God is so big that He's got me right in the hollow of His hand...there is no way of me falling off of it...even when I try to jump off it.

It's a comfort to know that...there's no way down. God pulled me out of the pit and He's not going to let me fall into it...and that's why He's blessed me with a friend like you to remind me, constantly because I'm such a dunce, that He's got a tight grip on me...He's placed a hedge around me to protect me and help me grow into a better woman in Christ.

Becca, you have been a wonderful influence in God's shaping of me and you will continue to be so. Meanwhile, I beg you to forgive my blunders and self-centered moments. I cannot promise it won't happen again because I'll have just lied but I promise to be more open to look beyond my nose next time around.

Becca, I love you very much. You are my friend, my twin, my confidant, my mentor, my adviser, my voice of reason and my kindred spirit. I cannot imagine life without you in it and I do not plan on not having you in my life every step of the way -until I die at 85 or get eaten by a bear, whichever comes first.

Thank you for being the wonderful chameleon friend that you are...you are what I need every time I need it, even if I'm not aware of it at the moment.

Oh, and thank you for making me open my Bible...a reminder to always listen to the Voice of God.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."

Isaiah 40:8

Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God; the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:27-31

It is interesting to see what each person grasps when reading the same Scripture. While Becca was enthralled with the concept of a God so big He holds the entire oceans in the very hollow of His hand (I too found this enthralling), I found it ever increasingly more comforting to know that my God, our God, never tires or wearies...His understanding never falters and He is always, ALWAYS, there to hold us up when we stumble, when we fall flat on our faces and feel like we just don't have it in us to get back up.

From the hollow of His hand to His limitless strength and understanding, He is a God that will take on everything...and make it better.

God be praised in all His glory and splendor!

Baptism Sunday

I finished the blanket of pain, blood and tears about two minutes before ten in the morning, meaning I missed Bible study but by golly, I was not going to miss the baptism, no way, no how.

So, here is the picture of the blanket...if I can do this in less than twenty-four hours, can you imagine what kind of trouble I could get into if I put my mind to it!



It was by far the most painful craft project I have ever embarked on...but it will be worth it when it becomes her security blanket and she drags it every where with her...and I mean every where!!
I only got to hold her long enough this Sunday to take this picture...seconds after the picture was taken, and I do mean seconds, godmother Teri came along and took her away...

Oh sadness...didn't get much needed Livi-girl snuggle time this Sunday.

On another note, both good and bad, is that David left me a message on messenger letting me know he tried to call me...unfortunately, I was having Sunday lunch at Stateline with the Heimers-Muhrs.

Hopefully, God willing, he'll call later today...I do miss talking with him.

Well, adios and hasta luego!

Turns Out Crochetting Can Maim

Who'd a thought that one could actually shove a crochet hook through her thumb?

Granted, the hook's end is as thin as a needle, which is necessary to crochet the edges of the blanket I am working on...I thought it would be easy and in a way it is...but not as easy as I thought.

Definitely have my work cut out for me trying to finish it by tomorrow morning.

Well, meanwhile, here is the picture of the introduction of Skippyjon Jones to Jaden Timothy, the birthday boy.


The birthday boy enjoying a strawberry (they were yummy!) before the birthday dinner of Mac N Cheese and hot dogs...let's not forget the ice cream cake!

He was a happy kid, enjoying his many gifts...

I got there just as Krysia was finishing the feeding of Livi-girl and read the book to Jaden, although he wasn't as enthralled as I hoped he would be but it was after nap time and apparently reading is a before nap time event, so that was my mistake.

Unfortunately, by the time I got home with the book and called Krysia, Jaden was already taking his nap, so I didn't have much of an option. I could have waited until today but I really wanted to give him his gift on his actual birthday...Hopefully he'll be willing to read through it next time around...he did like his Skippito Friskito plush though...kept making him bounce.

And now, to end the fun before signing off, I got to baby sit Livi for an hour or so before heading to work...she has officially laid claim to my left shoulder and it is now hers...
Isn't she gorgeous? She's getting baptized tomorrow so I have to get going on her gift...

Will update pictures of that blessed event later this week.

Adios and hasta luego!

Birthday and Baptism Gifts

Today was the wonderful day of buying Jaden's birthday gift.

I have loved a children's book introduced to me by my friend Erin and when I ran across it two weeks ago while figuring out what to get Jaden for his third birthday, I knew for sure that would be it. So here's the picture of his birthday gift. It is, by far, the best book ever!


As you can see, I am super excited! The best part is that it includes a CD with five of the Skippyjon Jones stories read by the author. I am so looking forward to reading the book to Jaden and giving him his very own Skippito Friskito!

As for Baptism gifts, I am going to be working on Alivia's gift all day tomorrow...but it will be worth it in the end. I know she has like tons of blankets (and I've already made her one...well, not so much as a blanket as a circle sarape!) but I couldn't figure out what else I could give a one month old on her baptism day...so I'm making a blanket...a different kind from the last one.

I'll post a picture of that when I'm done.

Well, not much else going on. Going to finish another five night week at work and definitely looking forward to the weekend. I'll be getting my hair cut and eyebrows waxed tomorrow.

I haven't hear from my boy (he's thirty-four...should I be using the term boy to refer to him?) in a few days due to the weather up in the Dallas area but I hope to hear from him this weekend...I miss him like crazy. I guess I've gotten used to talking to him every day about pretty much everything.

Adios and hasta despues!

Freakness in El Paso

Explain to me why snow and negative windchills are in the Sun City?

It truly makes no sense to me that West Texas is slowly getting buried under blowing snow...it took me thirty minutes to get home from work this morning because I drove 20mph the entire way here...and now, it looks like I'll have to leave for work an hour early...because they haven't called to say I don't have to come in and from the way things looked this morning when I left, they won't call to say that I don't need to come in...oh, what a shame.

So I thought I'd take a walk and get some pictures...yeah right! I didn't make it past the sidewalk in front of my house...but I got some pictures....



My favorite one, to be honest, was the one I took of the neighbor's front yard through the fence...although the house is empty so we don't technically have neighbors, do we?

Well, I am nice and warm in my little room, with blankets piled on me and for the first time ever, my fan is off.

Aside from taking a very short trip for snow pictures (it seriously is freaking cold!) I haven't really done much.

This month is dedicated to finding a new house for my parents, practicing Logic Games for the LSAT, and contemplating the merits of Vegas chapels...just a topic in my head that I must figure out myself.

I am missing my someone special a lot, being that I haven't heard from him in two days...but I believe there are power outages going on in Dallas and the Dallas area...I really hope he's doing alright.

Aside from that, work is well, I'm wonderful, and life is good...really cold but good.

Let's just hope tonight is not the night I die...ice and snow and freezing high winds...yeah, sounds like a disaster ready to happen.