Getting Lost in Another World

Believe it or not, tons has happened since last time I posted.

One, I got suspended for two days from work due to false accusations from a fellow co-worker that's trying to bring down the rest of us before she gets fired. Of course, there was no evidence to back the accusations so I got back to work on Tuesday night and was compensated for my two days of lost work. So my two days off became a four day weekend. It was good.

I now have said co-worker asking another of my co-workers if I am mad at her instead of asking me. Why is she asking this? Because, for those of you who read this that have ever been on my bad side or that I did not like, I am exceptionally good at giving the cold shoulder. Even when I talk to said person that I am mad at or don't like, you can tell that I am not happy with said person. Her hypocrasy (sp?) makes me mad and since I don't want to say anything to her that she will use against me and once again try to get me fired, I just don't talk to her or look at her or spend any willing and alone time around her. I always have someone with me when she's around now. Sucks when you can't trust the people you work with.

Let's see, what else? Oh, I have a new bill added to my list of monthly bills starting this March. Stupid school loans. My degree is costing me more money than it has made me. I wouldn't be so upset about paying my student loans if I was using said degree. Sometimes, I cry in my sleep with the ache I have inside me to be, once again, fully immersed in full-time ministry. Evidently, though, God has other plans although He hasn't shared them with me.

Anything else that's new? I broke my "since I pay the insurance, gas and maintanance on my car, no one else drives it" rule yesterday and let my dad and mom take my racecar to go downtown for the MRI appointment my dad had.

Wow, sad to say, I was lying. Not much has happened since last I posted.

I have been reading (alot) due to lack of life. So instead I am losing myself into the lives of other people's fictional characters. I do have three different story ideas going on in my head (atop of the ten other story ideas) and I think at some point, I just may sit at my computer and start pounding them out. Who knows? If I publish one of them, and they become best-sellers, I won't have to work at the nursing home anymore. Instead, I can write for a living while going back to school. Sounds good to me. Now, if I could just sit down and actually finish a story (fanfiction story doesn't count because I got no profit from it and 90% of the characters belonged to another writer).

Discipline is not my middle name. Procrastination is though, but as I have well become aware of, it will get you nowhere...just keeps you in the middle of the crossroads, neither going left or right, just looking back and forth between the two roads until you get a headache from shaking your head too much. Then you sit down and wait for the headache to go away without having made a decision, therefore getting you back to where you started...the middle of nowhere.

Life in the Low Plain

So it's going alright.

My highlight is that my dad is letting me drive the truck. That in itself is a miracle.

The other good stuff is that the crud concerning my dad and his doctor have resolved itself. He has an appointment tomorrow with the new doctor, a pain management specialist, and my dad is finally set on getting off the Lortab medication that he's addicted to.

Also, the insurance came through (the doctor's assistant lied to me about that) and my dad got his pills, finally. After about 20 days and one trip to the emergency room, my dad finally has his necessary medication along with a determination to detox from them.

Updated news on the soldier...he may be coming for a few days or so to visit in July. Let's pray that is so. Other than that, last I heard, he had the flu but still had to work (soldiers don't get to call in sick) and is planning on sending me his laptop for me to keep. What a kid!

Work is still the same -there is no change despite promises made. So I am going to have six months of experience at the end of this month and will be going to Thomason on my first Wednesday off to apply for a job. I really want to get into a hospital.

Well, other than that, I have nothing else to tell. Other than my mom and I have finished my Jaden's blanket (will get it to you as soon as possible, Krys), mom's doing alright but I'm still keeping an eye on her, and I am realizing that the guy at work who thinks he's too good for me isn't really good enough for me.

Well, hasta luego!

175.75

I received my first order from Herbalife today! I've ordered before but usually with my stepdad's membership number. This time around I used mine and got a total of 175.75 points. I still need to 300+ to make 500 and get bumped up to a 35% discount.

The good thing is I haven't gained any weight in the past two weeks despite my lack of Herbalife nutrition. So I don't have any gained grown to lose. I am hoping by the end of May to be at 200 LBS. So that means loosing 32 pounds in three months. Ten pounds a month...I can do it.

Other than that, I have no life. Just work, taking care of my parents, and sleeping. Oh yeah, eating too. I seem to be hungry ALL THE TIME. It sucks.

Which reminds me...I'm going to home to have some pancakes.

Will update later on work once there's a result to actions taken by myself and fellow co-workers.

The Hundreth Post

Exhausted. Not just because my first two days, I had a hallway to myself (20 rooms, two patients per room) since there were only four, but because I have to start taking care of my parents. Just in the little ways, such as paying the bills and making sure my mother doesn't overdraw her account. Making doctor appointments for her and for my stepfather. Helping my father set a budget so he doesn't overdraw his account (again) and then taking care of my own crap.

It's exhausting enough having to take care of myself. Trying to figure out a way to take care of my parents on top of that makes me feel like I'm forty not twenty-five. And what's worst, I don't go out and have fun, be a young person, you know?

Instead, I work, sleep, occassionally eat and then do it all over again. It's getting really old, really fast.

I need to get myself a freaking life!!!

Anyway, other than that, new updates. My bones hurt. Not only my bones, but all of my joints. I wake up everyday after getting home from work with swollen hands and stiff fingers. My fingers were hurting all day yesterday. So either it's early onset arthritis (my mother has advanced arthritis, mostly on her back) or it could be something more serious. But will I go to a doctor to get tested for the possibility of cancer? NO.

Why? Because I'm afraid I may actually have cancer ( my father was 25 when he died of lymphoblastic leukemia) and the usual treatment for that is radiation and/or chemotherapy. So if cancer goes into remission, great, but whose going to give me back the opportunity to have children of my own? So no, I will not go to a doctor to get checked despite the bone pain, the joint pain, the leg bruises and the nosebleeds.

Mind over matter...I am fine. Just a little overworked, over tired, underpaid and under fun.

Enough whining. Until later.