Blessings Occur in Multiples

So I successfully completed my LSAT on Saturday...it wasn't as bad as I thought...I almost even enjoyed it...frightening, I know.

At 4:41 AM December 12, Little Bitty was born and named Alivia Grace. I went to meet her at her place yesterday evening...got to cuddle her for ten minutes before one of the grandmas showed up and took her away.

She is a gorgeous baby!

I got to stay and crash Stephen's birthday dinner, something I hadn't intended to do, but they were really gracious about it.

I have one more complete off day tomorrow then back to work on the 16th...

I will be spending Christmas on my own because my parents and brother (who is in town) are heading to NM to spend Christmas with my sister.

Hours Away...

My alarm is set for 6:30 in the morning, so I can take a relaxing shower.

My ziplock bag is packed, my admission ticket reprinted, my pencils sharpened and my watch reset to the correct time.

I have clean comfortable sweatpants at the ready, a clean t-shirt and a clean hoodie along with clean socks and undergarments and, of course, my sneakers.

My gas tank is full and I have a printed map with directions to UTEP, as well as a map of the campus.

I am as ready as I can be...

Other than that, I've gotten internet at home, have set both my computer and my mother's up for the wireless, which is awesome.

I've become crazily addicted to coffee...

I've been manifesting physical signs of my nerves...

And at the moment, all I need are a pair of blue and purple socks...gift exchange.

My favorite people haven't had their baby yet...

My little brother is coming into town tonight...

And I am making plans to go see Harry Potter again...even if I have to go alone.

Oh yes...I can't find a book that belongs to the library...I'm almost positive I've already returned it...now I have to prove it...at least I know the title of it.

I am looking into the Paralegal Program at EPCC...

And I am hoping for extra hours at work...soon, that may happen being the other night clerk has given her two weeks notice.

Blade or Bullet?

So, eight days until the day of reckoning for me...

And the major question is cancel or take the average?

Tomorrow, I'll do the first practice test...I'll do the second one on the nineth...relax on the tenth, head up west to find the building on the campus...

Then the eleventh...try not to change my train of thought from cancel or average to blade or bullet.

Either way, it can get messy.

Good news...I will be getting me some internet at home for my Christmas present to me.

I may be able to pick up extra shifts at work since the other night UC has given her two weeks notice.

Bad news...none, really. Except my short pay period, which will severely cut my paycheck the coming week...I hate being put on available...so prayers I don't get called on Saturday and placed on available...I can't afford just four paid days...I need al five...since I've lost one already...the other one was covered by PTO.

Well, other than that and waiting for Little Bitty to make it into the world, nothing new.

Just Trying To Diffuse The Tension

So I went last Saturday to the movies with Stephen and Krysia...it was, to date, the best Harry Potter movie!

And it's killing me that I have to wait until July of next year to see the second part...which is more than likely even more bloody brilliant than the first part...which, to me, seems like an impossibility...but maybe not.

So far, I have gotten a couple of things off my to-do list. Among them, new Scrubs, printing directions to UTEP as well as a UTEP Campus Map.

Further on my to-do list is taking the first practice LSAT test from my study book (something I plan on doing tomorrow), taking the second LSAT practice test and the third as well. I need to keep working on the Logic Games, which can easily kick my behind during the actual test, and I must, MUST, practice my debate writing of sorts.

Alright, that would be the only updates I have...

Although, there is the fact that I went to the movies on my own today. Who'd a thought I could actually do that? What did I see, you ask?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1...AGAIN!

Twenty-Five Days...

My LSAT is coming upon me fast...

Am I prepared?

Well....

I am at Barnes & Noble talking to friends on-line (gotta love AIM).

I am watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban later today.

I am going to the library tomorrow to return books, renew books, and check out more books.

I will be getting a map to UTEP (preparation step one).

I will be buying my new three sets of scrubs.

I will be working....

Sleeping....

Working....

HARRY POTTER NIGHT ON SATURDAY WITH STEVE-O AND KRYSIA!!!

Then I will continue preparing...

Night Shift is When the Stars Come Out...or the Weirdos...

Last night at work...it was interesting...We had two births throughout the night, with three women laboring in the back. Sometime between three and four in the morning, two visitors came through to the Post Partum floor from the Pediatrics hallway...

They headed to Labor and Delivery...

Then after about ten minutes, returned with out of the Junior Security Guards coming with them...two minutes after they headed out, once again, through the Pediatrics hallway, a Senior Guard came up, huffing and puffing and askign the Junior Guard where they went before heading after them. As he walked by, we asked what was going on (because, for our floor, this is strange workin's) and he stated they were drunk.

Alright...now, the L&D Clerk came over to our station to ask who had let them in...apparently, they weren't just drunk, but the lady had blood down the front of her shirt and the guy (who was wearing a hoodie) had blood on his neck...she had been the one to call Security...

I tell you, strange things happen during the night shift...and I was the one who let them in...let's just hope next time I let in someone covered in blood, they aren't armed and psychotic...I should start asking them that before opening the door....

The weird workings of a hospital at night...good thing I don't work the emergency floor.

Also, I got to diaper a one day old five pound baby boy...and dress him afterwards too.

Thank y'all!

PS. In two days, the countdown commences...

Kiss and Snuggle with me?

My title is a direct tribute to my best buddy Jaden.

Life has been going well. I've been going to church and Bible study and working.

Mom's gallbladder was removed and I spent the night at the hospital with her, which I think she appreciated despite her telling me it wasn't necessary.

Fun stuff have happened, such as carving my first pumpkin with Jaden, making my Veggie Chili to enter it into the Chili cook off at church, getting to hang out with friends and just be.

I have one month before I take my LSATs, which are scheduled for December 11th...

I think I just let the cat out of the bag there...

I will explain more on my plans after the 11th of December.

I had so many stories to tell, among them a conversation with my big brother concerning the building of the world's biggest something here in El Paso to attract tourism (he suggested a tunnel a semi could go through that ends right at the border. We then broadcast that the tunnel is used by the narcs to traffic drugs into the states and sell t-shirts that say "NARCOS NEED FRIENDS TOO." As you can imagine, we were laughing big time...mostly because we both knew that people would come to El Paso to see that).

Then there's Jaden stories, but those are too many and little snippets that not much stands out in my head...except when he had the sandbox meltdown because he wanted to play with me and I was eating dinner with Krysia. That was a special moment, Jaden asking to play with Luz.

Well, nothing new...still liking my job, looking forward to Harry Potter Marathon with some friends then later, the Harry Potter movie on November nineteen.

Well, adios and enjoy!

I Beg Your Pardon?

Life is going great for me.

God is great, beer is good, and yes, people ARE crazy.

Updates of the good kind go as follows:

I have started working nigthts at the hospital and am enjoying them, despite working three twelve hour shifts one after the other. I did lose one shift this past Saturday due to low census...come on women of El Paso! Procreate!

I enjoy my job, especially the occassional times when I get to babysit or rock the baby or cuddle the baby or, God is good!, feed and burp the baby. They are the cutests things to walk this earth...well, when they do start walking.

When we have a full floor (21 patients plus babies in nursery, then in mothers' rooms), it gets busy and hectic...I like it like that.

A work story...we have a walkie talkie type of system, so that I can get ahold of nurses and CNAs without having to page them overhead. The system is called the Vocera System. It's pretty nifty...almost like having a cell phone. Well, early this morning, we discovered that the Vocera system is, well, uppity.

You see, sometimes, when it's in a mood, it won't log you in as yourself...example, how do you get Alma Frank out of Luz Soto? You don't! And yet, even after I spelled my name, the system logged me in as Alma Frank. After five minutes of arguing with it, I gave up.

Well, one of the nurses found out that the Vocera is cheeky as well as uppity. She accidentally pressed the button, so it responded with "Vocera."

At this point you say "Call (insert first and last name here)" but since she didn't want to call anyone, she just said to the Vocera "Shut up."

A few seconds later and the Vocera responds "I beg your pardon?"

Obviously, we couldn't stop laughing! So of course, another nurse had to give it a try...then she started taunting the Vocera...

It actually makes sonic ray noises when you tell it to "Beam me up."

Alright, end of work story.

Now on to family...mom will be having gallbladder surgery, brother is back in Georgia after having spend a week with us here in HellPaso, stepdad and I are talking again and we're getting along, pretending that we never screamed at each other and said stuff to each other.

I have six days off, counting today...maybe even seven because the possibility they will need me for the four hours I'm scheduled on Sunday are pretty much nilch.

I did request to be cross-trained as a CNA in the Pediatrics Unit to work night shift PRN. I hope they decide to do this...that way, I can get my hours...

Well, enough updating.

Y'all have a swell-riffic day!

Missing You

I miss my friends...

Newness

One more day of training and then I go on my own for four hours this Sunday...then I work eight days with one day off...yikes! That's gonna be one good check!

Updates Of The Good Kind

News, News, News!

So I've been attending Zion Lutheran Church where my best pal Stephen is the Vicar. He's a pretty good preacher.

My dad and I are still not talking...is that two weeks now? Oh well.

No, I don't have a boyfriend and I really don't care right now.

I finished my second fanfic story and have started the third, which is proving slightly more difficult to get out of my head and onto paper slash the screen.

I've been gaining weight, slowly but surely. I already have plans for that so just keep me in your prayers.

My vacation days at EP Health and Rehab were paid (yay!)

My social life's...well...I see Stephen, Krysia and Jaden more often than before so that's good.

Oh yeah!

I am starting my second week of training as Unit Secretary at Del Sol Medical Center here in El Paso. I am working in the OB-GYN floor, get to see babies (so darn cute!) and do cool stuff life putting together doctor's charts, ordering labs, discharging patients, and other stuff of coolness level.

Definitely no more old people butt wiping.

Okay, no more to add so adios to all!

Today...the crap hit the fan

In other words, major showdown between my stepdad and I today. Something that had been bulding up for quite a while, by the sound of the screaming and the judging of the words.

Needless to say, I don't feel as burdened with anger and resentment as before and his silent treatment solution to the whole situation pleases me just fine.

On happier notes, tomorrow is my first day in training for a new job...

Will tell you more once I start official orientation.

Thanks to all those who pray for me and my family...reminds me. My brother's back in the States!

Git, Git, Git-R-Done!

Quick update...new change in my life coming soon!

Will share more once it's set on concrete!

That's Why The Lady Is A Tramp...

I have discovered Frank Sinatra...must say...wonderful!

Funny that "The Lady Is A Tramp" is one of my favorite songs and "My Funny Valentine" is my least favorite.

So updates?

Work is still work, although I have eight days of vacation to look forward, along with a slightly larger than usual paycheck coming up due to overtime and holiday pay. Yayness!

My leg is falling asleep and it is going to be an absolute nightmare when I finally get up from the floor. I may not be able to walk out of here in a dignified manner...even if I knew how to do that.

Social life is, once again, nonexistand. But I'll survive because I plan on tearing up the town during my vacation week...we'll have to see if I know how.

I am begging friends for postcards from wherever they live or travel to due to my sudden compulsion to collect postcards and put them together in a scrapbook titled "Traveling Vicariously Through Others" so if you would like to send me a postcard, let me know and I will give you my address....

My parents are well...dad started physical therapy today and mom is now sporting two brand new, top of the line hearing aides...she can hear everything now...at times, not good.

Well, that's pretty much it. Anything new and exciting happening to me, I will let y'all know.

Ciao!

Hutch-Ho

Don't know what it means, it just came to my head.

Updates...

Writer's Update....updated ch. 54 of my story and am almost done...I think four more chapters and the whole thing comes to an end and hopefully a third story begins...which it already has in my head.

Brother Update...90% chance that he will be relocated to Ft. Bliss instead of being send off to Italy. He may be returning to the good ole US of A by next month. Yay!

Parental Update...mom is getting a hearing aid...top of the line with 60 batteries. Best part? All is covered by Medicaid!

Financial Update...still selling plasma to make ends meet...although, this coming month I'm going to be selling to save up money to get my car a much needed tune up. Good thing the mechanic at home is only going to charge me ten dollars. Not bad.

Work Update...put in my request for vacation days and if approved, will be on vacation from Sep. 17 to the 23rd. Five of those seven days will be paid. Yayness!

Social Update...making plans on attending a free Dwight Yoakam concert at Speaking Rock (El Paso's one and only casino) on September 17. Will get the times later. Also want to volunteer for a Sparks clean-up thing that my church is involved in...but Stephen has yet to let me know about the details.

Love Life Update...just a waste of typed letters.

Health Update...my weight is fluctuating, going up and down. I lose two pounds since I last donated plasma, then gain three after the second donation, then lose another few after another donation...It makes no sense. I have gone to the nutrition club a coupld of times and plan on going again, but only when I have money to pay. Right now...no moolah.

Anymore updates?

None.

Adios!

Can't Figure Out A Snarky Title

So updates....

Social Life Update-haven't done much on this particulare section of my life. I did go to my nutrition club after depositing my paycheck and hung out for an hour or so with my gals...hopefully we can plan stuff for my soon to come up vacation week.

Writer's Update -I am up to chapter fifty-four of the current fanfic story that I am writing. I am also three reviews away from hitting 200 reviews, which is my goal. The story is almost done, which would then make my finished story quota move up to two finished stories. This particular one seems to be getting pretty popular...I get a new reader/reviewer about once a week or so.

Health Update -I've gained a couple of pounds or so, and I blame it on the plasma donation. But what can I say...I need the cash.

Financial Update -Things are tight but one way or another, God's taking care of us.

Parental Update -Mom was diagnosed with sleep apnea and has been placed on a C-Pac breathing machine that she will have to use for life...also, her Velfaxine dosage was increased...and her new psychiatrist has talked about looking into a medication that can help with her fibromialgia if the Lyrica (which her pain management doctor increased) keeps interfering with her memory.

Dad...well, haven't talked to him recently. So I don't know what's up.

Love Life Update -None.

Spiritual Update -I went to church this past Sunday and it felt good. I really need to make an effort...afterall, I can't grow in God in a vaccum. More on this later.

Any other updates -Not really...I got them to give me my days back at work, I have a paid vacation coming up and I plan on making plans to enjoy it instead of just staying at home...

Well, that's it.

Adios!

Dancing –Expression of Self or Mating Ritual?

I know, the title sounds like a possible sociological study paper.

In a sense, that's what it was...a sociological study.

Last night, I headed out of the house around midnight to Whiskey Dicks, one of the country dance halls in El Paso. I had been wanting to go for a while but I never did because I had no one to go with me...so last night, I pulled out my courage and dusted it off, got all gussied up and headed out.

Two hours was what I spent at the country dance hall...of course, the word country isn't the best way to describe the music selection...there was some hip-hop, R&B and other such popular club music mixed in with the country. Definitely not Couplands.

Did I dance, you wonder?

No, no one asked me. But I did my next favorite thing...watched people while they danced.

Several interesting things that I observed during the two hour watching people dance session...less than 70% of the people on the dance floor actually knew how to properly two-step. That made me miss Lee Kothmann and Karl Winkler.

Another thing was that apparently in El Paso, people are crazy about the big group dancing stuff...you know, like the electric slide and such.

The other observation was that at some point (usually during the hip-hop sessions), the dance floor almost became X-Rated.

That was what got me thinking...

Is dance a form of expressing oneself or simply a mating ritual to show off vertical moves that can easily be translated into horizontal moves?

I myself have always thought of dance as a form of expression...that's why I love to dance. Because I can express the rhythm and music that I feel in my soul. Besides, I can dance.

Anyway, that's my social update.

As for work update...I was placed on a three-three schedule...which means I had yesterday off, as well as today and tomorrow...what punks.

On the upside, there's the news of a pay raise floating around the work place...a whole 25 cents!

Man, gotta get a new job.

That's my work update.

I am currently on chapter five of my study book, right on schedule. The thing is...I have to teach myself to read all over again. Yikes!

That's my educational update.

No boyfriend.

That's my love life update.

I got to see my Jaden last night, along with sharing cheesecake and good conversation with Stephen and Krysia. I am also sending messages and wall posts back and forth with Becca at this moment because chat doesn't work on her sister's computer. Oh! I got to chat a while with Stephanie, whose just an acquaintance that happens to be a life long friend of my Becca's.

So that's my friend interaction update.

Family update?

Mom's been diagnosed with a mild case of sleep apnea and her CPAC machine was delievered yesterday afternoon. I didn't see her this morning when I left so I didn't get to ask her how she slept.

My dad....not much.

My brother...still in Iraq, looking for another avenue concerning the Compassionate Reassignment.

My sister and nephews....in Alburquerque.

My brother-in-law...still alive.

There, the family update.

Well, everyone, adios!

The Updates of Life

As most of you have read my constant writing of not much to update, I hate repeating myself but...

There's really not much to update.

Let's see...my brother has been back in Iraq coming on two weeks this coming Monday and I miss him like crazy. I left work ten minutes early that Monday morning so I could go to the airport...and as a pre-emptive move to my stepdad's no, I gave him the keys so he could drive my car.

My brother had breakfast at the airport while we watched (okay, i snitched some of his hashbrowns and a bite of his breakfast sandwhich) then we watched him leave after the good-byes.

He never looked back and we stayed until we could no longer see him up in the security line (which is on the second floor). It hit me then, why seeing your soldier leave is so painful.

It's the aching hope that the good-bye will soon become a welcome home.

Other updates are...

I have a new laptop, curtesy of my brother. Thank you lil bro!

I found out (via internet...AGAIN) that my favorite people are going to be having a little girl, which means must get started on the blanket so I can finish it by December, when said child is supposed to be born.

I am on chapter four of my study book, which is right on scheduled as planned.

My fee waivers came through, which means my $136 test scheduled this December is free, along with a second one in a two year period.

I closed out my account at Chase and opened a new one at BOA.

I finally closed all the business with my traffic ticket, so no arrest warrant for me.

And nothing much else to tell.

Everyone enjoy your day!

Family Reunions are hell on one's Psyche

What is it about having both older and younger siblings around that make the middle one feel inferior?

Most of you have read about personality being influenced by order of birth, etc. etc.

Well, I am a firm believer of that.

See, my older sister got a lot of attention. Mom has sacrificed much for her despite my older sister's constant rejection of her. Now, they're great friends. But sometimes I wonder if guilt motivated my mom (aside, of course, the love of a mother) in putting so much on the line for my older sister. And I can't help but wonder if it ever came down to it, would she do the same for me?

Now, my younger brother, well, he's another story. Mom hasn't had to sacrifice for him because he's a great kid. Instead, he's sacrificing for my mom. He's the baby, the only son. He's the one that's gone overseas, constantly in danger, constantly in my mother's thoughts. When he shows up for fifteen days, she's in heaven...I, on the other hand, am in hell. Talk about sibling preference. It's hard at times to enjoy my brother's visits because the obvious preference is...well...obvious. How the hell do I deal with that? Try my best not to become a petulant jealous child but it's so darn hard!

Now me...well, when it's just me here with my mom, it's all great. Afterall, I look after her, make sure her doctor appointments are up to date, communicate her needs to her doctors, send out her bills so she won't get behind by forgetting. Making sure she has some money left in her account. I look after her the entire year that my brother is overseas and my sister's in NM and yet, when all three of us are together, I'm the one that gets pushed to the side. What the hell?

It's hard not to feel inferior when I'm with my siblings. What it is though is ridiculous. I have a college degree that I worked hard for, grade wise and money wise. I lived on my own for a year and eight months right out of college. Not the easiest thing to do, and occassionally needed help from my mother, but I did it. Now, here I am, with a college degree and one hell of a crappy job and living at home with my mother and annoyingly pisses me off stepfather, looking after their medical needs (yes, both of them) and I feel inferior to my older sister and little brother. What the hell is wrong with that picture?

It's not me. It's my parents. My stepdad has always treated me differently to the way he treats my older sister and younger brother. That, in itself, I've sort of learned to deal with.

My mother only treats me differently when my brother and sister are around. Example: did you know that my mom constantly brags that my sister has worked hard to get what she has. She owns her own mobile home (paid it off completely by herself), she paid for her own Yukon. She's bought her kids cell phones, iPods, computers, laptops, videogames, PS3s, etc., etc. All on her own, with her own hard work. And mom does not mind braggin about it.

But me? When I mention to people who find out that I have a degree that I worked three to four jobs every year to pay off my own tuition, on top of doing eighteen hour semesters so I could get free money (which I did, four of my five years in college were free rides, financially...and that's not including internship) my mom gets this look on her face. Like it upsets her for me to be telling people that I paid my way through college. I worked my ass off, in class and on the jobs, to make my dream come true. Just like my sister. But I don't hear my mom braggin about that. Instead, she gets annoyed when I do it for her. I'm proud of my accomplishments...but at times, I wonder if my mom is.

Okay, I gotta stop now because my library computer time is almost up and I am very close to crying.

Other than the psychological hell that was the week in Alburquerque, everything else was great. Whole lot of fun to hang out with family.

Time With Family

Can be a horrid time as well as a great time.

So far, I've had one fight with my mom (minor, but there nonetheless).

A couple of fights with my brother (this involved drinks, beer pong and accusations of cheating).

Some scabbles about manners with my oldest nephew.

My stepdad and I aren't talking...no reason, really, just...not talking.

Anyway, other than the bad stuff, there's the good stuff.

My brother and I have had the chance to talk, share secrets, confidences.

My mom is deliriously happy at having her children and grandchildren with her.

My cousin's over with her kids, who are so darn cute!

Well, right now, the drama is family portraits. We are trying to figure out what to where, where to go, when to go, what people combinations are we gonna get, etc., etc.

This should all be very interesting. Will update more later.

Oh! I can play beer pong very well after four Smirnoffs!

Back To School

For 5 1/2 hours.

Today, I took my Defensive Driving Class to get my speeding ticket dismissed.

I got a 95% on the final exam. Go figure.

Anyway, other than that, nothing new.

My writing is coming along, I have finished the first set of practice questions for chapter three of my study book (7 correct out of 13 but still have three other sets).

I have had three interviews, two peer interviews and come this Friday, I should find out if I get a job offer from the two peer interviews. Pray to God I get either one. I know I can do excellent work in either position.

I am freaking about money, per usual, trying to make ends meet with the little I get paid. Which means I must get a better paying job and soon.

Other than that, no new updates. Will update as soon as possible.

Blondes don't have more fun...they just get stared at...ALOT

Or maybe it's just me.

I must admit, highlight operation went awry.

Now I must live with it.

No problem because soon, caramel haircolor will come to the rescue.

Fine, fine. I'll make sure and put up a picture before I change my look...again.

Other updates?

Had three interviews and I have a peer interview for one of the three this coming Monday at eight in the morning. Gives me time to come home from work, shower, dress and then head back out.

Keep it in your prayers because I REALLY want this job. Final decision will be made known on the 18th of this month.

Pray, pray, pray.

PRAY I SAY!!!!!

Let Me Tell You A Horror Story

Where's my head at?

So this morning, as I stopped at a salon to ask about the price of highlights, I realized I didn't have my mom's cell phone with me. Turns out I left it at my Herbalife club...again.

Now, that's not the horror story. I think only Becca (and those who cannot survive with the item I am about to mention) will be able to understand the temporary panic I experienced today.

After I finished my latest checked out book, I decided to head to the library. This led to getting my book bag and checking to make sure I had everything I needed.

Notebook? Check.

Pen/Pencil bag? Check.

Folder with needed paperwork? Check.

Mom's bills and money for money orders? Check.

Eleven letters to mail because Stephen challenged me to apply at 25 different places? Check.

USB to save Rosie's resume?

....

USB to save Rosie....USB? USB?! USB!!!!!

WHERE THE HELL IS MY USB!!!!

Oh no! I must have left it at the library on the USB port of computer number fourteen yesterday afternoon when I went to print out ten copies of my cover letter!!!

My USB is out there, somewhere, in someone else's hands! How could I be so stupid!!!

A phone is one thing but my USB!

NOOOOOOO!!!!

I can buy a new one, ask Becca to e-mail me all the notes on our story she has, redo my resumes and cover letters (I have hard copies). I can upload my stories from fanfic onto my USB. I have yet to type out any of my other stories....the only thing I may be losing is a couple of ideas that I've written in letters to Becca (which she has finished typing up and will be emailing to me soon, right Beccs?)...the only thing I am losing is my grandparents' phone number (the ones I never call) and I can always call my aunt and ask her for it...

So no need to panic...just get a USB...if no one turned it into the front desk...if someone decides to keep it...and read what I have saved in it......

Someone out there, some stranger, could be reading MY story ideas, MY stories, snooping around MY thoughts and ideas and....

How could I be so stupid?!?! Why did I not look into password protecting my USB?

Panic attack comes back!

MY USB!!! The horror! The horror!

I got to the library, checked computer 14 USB port...nothing.

Oh no! Oh no!

Asked the computer room desk clerk and watched her check her drawer...nothing.

THE HORROR!!!

Then asked the front desk librarian...watched her open her drawer...rummage through the pens...pulled out something wrapped in paper with writting on it...

MY USB!

Oh, USB, please forgive me. I shall never again leave you behind. Never again will I risk you to be exposed to the eyes of strangers. I shall guard you jealously, from this moment on, with my own life. Forgive me, USB, forgive me.

Never again will I take you for granted. As I carry you out to the cruel, cruel world, I will hold you upon my chest, hang you around my neck and brand your presence upon my very brain.

Never again will I leave you behind forgotten or may a bear come up the street and eat me alive.

This is Sidekick...which means you must be a Superhero.

So two nights ago, the gals at work threw a surprise birthday party for Dani, one of our LVN's.

I had a crush on Dani back when I first started working the night shift, something that went down the wayside when I realized Dani has a very high opinion of himself and not all that high of an opinion of me.

Anyways, I still like Dani. He lets me do my job, doesn't micromanage me or get in my way, and that puts him on the list of favorite supervisors.

So even though I was off that night, I went ahead and showed up with pico de gallo and a gift...a little ivy named sidekick that he could replant outside in his backyard of the house he just bought last month.

The look on his face made me smile most of the night...yes, he was very surprised and seemingly pleased over the plant I gave him. It was the sweetest thing ever.

He gave me this long hug and thanked me, again and again. It almost looked like he was about to cry.

Anyway, no other updates. Just wanted to share that special moment with y'all. Gotta go and look for office jobs so I could get a free dinner with Stephen.

That alone is incentive enough to work hard at meeting his challenge. I have till Wednesday.

Adios!

Second Update: A blind date? How dumb am I?

So about two updates ago, I passingly mentioned a blind date.

Boy oh boy!

So what happened, you are now wondering, uh?

A co-worker of mine asked me for permission to give my phone number to a friend of her boyfriend's.

He called several times but since it's my mother's cell phone, no answer.

Until one Monday night, about two hours before I had to head to work, I had the phone with me and he called and I answered.

Needless to say, we talked for about an hour. I liked him. He liked me.

We made plans to talk again later that week.

So what did I know about this guy?

Well, my co-worker had mentioned that he was 33, worked with her boyfriend, was tall, had long hair and was studying for a chemistry degree.

I told my co-worker about the phone call. Yes, I liked him, something I had to constantly repeat.

So what happened next?

Instead of him calling me on Friday, as we had planned, my co-worker had me come over to her house to meet him.

HOLY COW AND IT'S LITTLE BABY COWS!

Did she say he was 33 or 53? Tall? Well, yeah, tall the way a hunchbacked grizzly bear is tall.

Needless to say, not attractive. I think he was missing some, if not most, of his front teeth. And his hands...gross!

I am a hand girl, which means that's one of the things I automatically notice on guys, and pudgy short fingered hands are so not my thing.

As those who know me well, I was quiet during most of the half hour I was there. It was obvious I didn't find him all that attractive...alright! Not at all attractive.

I dropped my co-worker off at work and told her no thanks. I'd rather stay single.

Obviously, this single girl has a problem.

Either she needs to find someone younger to set her up on blind dates (co-worker is forty something and no longer pays attention to men's looks...my reply to that was, yes I understand, but I do...I've never had a boyfriend!) or when it comes to the male population...

SLIM PICKIN'S!

First Update: Letting go of Dead Dreams

May 16, 2010
1:49 AM

I had the strangest, most normal dream. I woke up with the whole thing still in my head and I thought it over as I went to the bathroom.

Then I started to cry.

There's an ache in my heart as I realized that I've given up on my calling, on my ministry as a DCE.

I wasn't doing ministry in my dream, as it has happened in the past, but I was hanging out with a friend while he did his normal day to day stuff as a DCE.

During our conversations, he introduced me to one of his junior high church kids, who started talking to me about wanting to go to law school.

I was able to share my ideas concerning the process of waiting and following God, who has plans for each of our lives.

Then, once the kid headed off to class, my friend turned to me and said, "You miss being a DCE, don't you?"

I could actually see and feel myself well up with tears in my dream as I replied, "I do."

And then my friend said the weirdest thing, which comforted me yet made me realize that I've given up and am now ready to try moving on.

He said: "You looked good doing ministry."

Not "you look good" or "you will look good" but "you looked good."

Past tense.

I will be hitting the two year mark at the end of this month (5/28) since I finished my internship.

Two years since I've done full time DCE ministry.

Two years, five interviews later, waiting for my own church, my own group of teenagers and families to minister to.

Two years of waiting and aching for an opportunity to answer my call to the DCE ministry.

And now I've crying again at the fact that I've given up.

I won't have a church of my own.

God has other plans for me.

I don't know what they are and I'm not arrogant enough to assumer what I'm doing now or the steps I'm taking to fulfill my next goal are anything but my own plans.

All I can do is to be open and willing to follow God down whatever road He's chosen for me, whether it's the one I'm currently on or a completely different one that I've never even thought of.

Even in my dream, God comforted me, sending me a friend to help me understand.

Although I've given up on DCE ministry, I haven't let go.

I'm hanging on to a dead dream, having my own church, being a DCE, doing full time ministry.

It hurts, it literally aches, but it's time.

Time to let go and Let God.

Time to move on.

Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda Raj.

I've, once again, been watching the Big Bang Theory. I'm on Season Two.

New updates:

I got a new bed in my room, full size. It, of course, detracts from my tiny little bedroom in the middle of the hallway. But the space is wonderful. I can roll around without falling off the bed.

Besides, the bed is so low (Japenese style) that if I do fall, it won't break anything, just hurt some.

Any other new updates...my nose won't stop bleeding. It's annoying that I have to go through the day sniffing so I won't bleed all over my shirt or whatever. Gross, I know, but worrisome. I must be perishing of something serious.

I've gotten my long awaited for book but I have to register for the test ASAP, plus I need to register my accompanying CD-ROM so I can diagnos weaknesses and strengths. It's scary to realize how much money needs to go into this next big step of mine so I pray God shows me the way. If He has other plans, He will let me know in time. I pray.

Any other updates? Not really.

Except for the blind date.

Take care y'all!!!

Hey Luz! Mo ba-ana.

So last Saturday, I headed to San Elizario with my fav boy and his momma. Since Krys was driving, I got to give Jaden his banana and help him peel it. After about ten minutes, I hear Jaden say:

"Hey Luz. Mo ba-ana."

LOL.

I absolutely love that kid. And now, it looks like there's another Heimer favorite on the way! Yay!

Anyway, my long awaited book has gotten here so that means going on a schedule from here until December and maybe even beyond. I may have to delay my plans for a year, depending on admissions deadlines, but that's okay, because I will get it done.

I got my tax return. What a surprise!!!

Four hundred extra than what I thought. Good stuff. I can now get my mom her Mother's Day gift (Joe and I are going halvsies on it), I plan on getting my ears pierced (only ten bucks at Wal-Mart) and I will be buying my needed materials for the beginning of my eight month study session.

I know, I know, y'all are curious as to what I am studying for. Well...

I won't tell you. Not yet.

As for now, I shall leave you with my new motto (not so new since it was our mantra during summer camp when in JROTC):

HIGHLY MOTIVATED, ALWAYS DEDICATED, NO SLACK SIR NO SLACK, UAH!

And the tears shall flow...

So I went to the movies with Krysia to see LETTERS TO GOD.

Talk about a tear-jerker. Krysia was sitting beside me, wiping away, sniffling, tears streaming down her face...hold on...

That was me!

Although Krys did cry a bit.

Before the movie, Steve, Krys and I had pizza. Jaden didn't want any. I was able to witness first hand what discipline is in the Heimer household. Needless to say, I was left speechless with awe at the greatness that are Jaden's parents.

Alright, any other updates? Not much, really. Still working and sleeping but will soon be putting myself on a schedule to add on writing, working out, R&R and more specifically, studying.

Studying what?

I will tell later.

Social Life...might that exist?

It looks like my non-existent social life is starting to bloom.

A couple of weeks ago, I went to the bowling alley with a couple of friends from work. We were having fun until hateful co-worker we did not invite showed up about an hour and a half after we got there.

Needless to say, I simply ignored her and continued to play pool, which is what we were doing. Granted, outside the bowling alley, when she stated that she knew I hated her and that she didn't care -to which I replied that I didn't hate her, I just didn't like her - was the end all of the night.

Well, not exactly. The original party of three (without hateful coworker) headed to Whataburger for a late night dinner. I got home sometime around 12:30AM.

Good thing is that hateful coworker is no longer working at El Paso Rehab. Yay!

Now, today, Krysia and I are going to the movies to see "Letters To God," which promises to be a tear jerker. We're waiting for Stephen and the pizza (Stephen's gonna be baby-sitting) before we head out. It shall be fun.

As for any other social plans...going dancing with a couple of gals from work next Friday. Yay!

College -BIG MISTAKE. Should have joined the ARMY

So today I found out...big change of plans for my little brother.

At the moment, he's in Iraq. He will be coming home for a week June-July. However, he WILL NOT be coming back to El Paso for two years after his tour in Iraq is over.

Where will he be stationed, you wonder? Mmm...Korea? No.

Japan? No.

Germany? No.

No, no, no, no!!!!

My little brother, the one who wanted to be back in HELL PASO and live here (cannot comprehend why he would want that) is going to be stationed where I want to live all the days of my life.

Austin? No.

ITALY!

Exactly two hours away from Venice, Italy. How freaking unfair is that? He gets to go to Italy, MY Italy, and I get stuck here in El Paso, HIS El Paso.

This is just not right. Not right at all.

I should have joined the ARMY.

Two days past 26

I turned 26 on March 27th.

I got twelve dozen roses, a lollipop, a book, a mixed CD, three birthday cards, a new scrubs top, twenty dollars, and a all expense paid trip to Olive Garden (stuffed chicken marsala, peach tea and white chocolate raspberry cheesecake) for the monumental event.

So, two days after my 26th birthday, I don't know what to do with myself. I am single, working as a night CNA, single, thinking about going back to school, single, with very little friends...and did I mention that I am single?

My co-worker says not single but blessed. Being that I've always been single, I've yet to see whether it is a blessing or not.

But hey! Update on the social life...got plans to go bowling with my girls from work on Tuesday night. That should be fun. See what kind of trouble we can get into.

Family updates? Prayers for my brother needed. He's still in Iraq but under observation. He's been exhibiting abnormal heart activity and has a high count of magnesium in his body.

Prayers for my mother. Seems that the Savella her doctor prescribed for her fibromialgia isn't being as effective as we had hoped. Will see what can be done.

Personal updates? Well, aside from the fact that I am back to size 18 jeans (argh!), I am letting my nails grow out (they look really nice) and I think I might be letting my hair grow out too. Will have to update pictures later.

Well, enough is enough. Gotta go.

One way or another, ya gotta pay.

So I am known for driving fast. I love to drive fast. My car is a wannabe NASCAR and I'm a definite wannabe racecar driver.

Unfortunately for me, at 12:43 AM, the cop that stopped me did not agree with either one of us. Which means citation for driving 11 miles over the speed limit. Crap on a cracker.

So gotta pay that...how and with what, I do not know. But I do need to find out how much and when.

I can do the defensive driving course again (allowed only once a year and the last time I took it was in October of 2008) and get the citation off my record (reason why I lean towards defensive driving school) but even then, I still have to pay, but how much?

Will find out later.

Any other updates? Nope.

Oh, my 26th birthday is coming up. Four more years and I'll be thirty. Oh...wow...not cool.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I'm gaining weight. I am back to my size 18s. Why is this happening to me?

Because my eating schedule has flipped!!! I don't get hungry during the day, instead, I am hungry during the night. So I spend the night at work, eating. Either food that we all bring or junk, such as chips, Whoppers, soda-pop...bad stuff!

No worries though. I am going on a preemptive strike. I decided that I will shell out the money to join a gym and start working out. What I need is a personal trainer...and a kick in the behind!

Well, my new size 16 jeans should be motivation.

I have to lose the 60LBS that I proposed myself by the end of this year. And I will do it. Why?

Because I want to do it.

Because I can do it.

And...

Because I will do it.

Taxes

The two sure things about life are death and taxes, right?

I'm still a long way from death (I think) so, obviously, this is about taxes.

I just finished filling out my 1040EZ. And although I used the instructions on the internet IRS site, www.irs.gov, I am feeling kind of iffy about my tax refund. You see, my tax refund amount came out about 700 dollars MORE than what was withheld in taxes last year.

Granted, this year I filled out work pay credit and earned income credit as per instructions for the 1040EZ but it still has me worried. Who to go to? I don't have the money to pay for someone to do my taxes. Last year, I got them done for free at one of the libraries up in Waco. Why can't they offer that here?

Mmm, who to go to? Or should I just put zero on both my work pay credit and EIC and just get my 121 back? I think I just may do that despit the fact that the amount with the work pay credit and EIC is significantly larger. I mean, the last thing I want is to get in trouble with the IRS. I don't have the money for that.

Oh yeah, new update. Apparently, one of my co-workers has it in for me for some reason unknown to me. I no longer talk to her and just answer when she asks me questions due to my suspension. But now, she's telling the other CNAs that she's going to do everything possible to get me fired. What the hell? It's not as if I did anything to deserve that. I work hard and I work well, so what is her freakin' deal?

Getting Lost in Another World

Believe it or not, tons has happened since last time I posted.

One, I got suspended for two days from work due to false accusations from a fellow co-worker that's trying to bring down the rest of us before she gets fired. Of course, there was no evidence to back the accusations so I got back to work on Tuesday night and was compensated for my two days of lost work. So my two days off became a four day weekend. It was good.

I now have said co-worker asking another of my co-workers if I am mad at her instead of asking me. Why is she asking this? Because, for those of you who read this that have ever been on my bad side or that I did not like, I am exceptionally good at giving the cold shoulder. Even when I talk to said person that I am mad at or don't like, you can tell that I am not happy with said person. Her hypocrasy (sp?) makes me mad and since I don't want to say anything to her that she will use against me and once again try to get me fired, I just don't talk to her or look at her or spend any willing and alone time around her. I always have someone with me when she's around now. Sucks when you can't trust the people you work with.

Let's see, what else? Oh, I have a new bill added to my list of monthly bills starting this March. Stupid school loans. My degree is costing me more money than it has made me. I wouldn't be so upset about paying my student loans if I was using said degree. Sometimes, I cry in my sleep with the ache I have inside me to be, once again, fully immersed in full-time ministry. Evidently, though, God has other plans although He hasn't shared them with me.

Anything else that's new? I broke my "since I pay the insurance, gas and maintanance on my car, no one else drives it" rule yesterday and let my dad and mom take my racecar to go downtown for the MRI appointment my dad had.

Wow, sad to say, I was lying. Not much has happened since last I posted.

I have been reading (alot) due to lack of life. So instead I am losing myself into the lives of other people's fictional characters. I do have three different story ideas going on in my head (atop of the ten other story ideas) and I think at some point, I just may sit at my computer and start pounding them out. Who knows? If I publish one of them, and they become best-sellers, I won't have to work at the nursing home anymore. Instead, I can write for a living while going back to school. Sounds good to me. Now, if I could just sit down and actually finish a story (fanfiction story doesn't count because I got no profit from it and 90% of the characters belonged to another writer).

Discipline is not my middle name. Procrastination is though, but as I have well become aware of, it will get you nowhere...just keeps you in the middle of the crossroads, neither going left or right, just looking back and forth between the two roads until you get a headache from shaking your head too much. Then you sit down and wait for the headache to go away without having made a decision, therefore getting you back to where you started...the middle of nowhere.

Life in the Low Plain

So it's going alright.

My highlight is that my dad is letting me drive the truck. That in itself is a miracle.

The other good stuff is that the crud concerning my dad and his doctor have resolved itself. He has an appointment tomorrow with the new doctor, a pain management specialist, and my dad is finally set on getting off the Lortab medication that he's addicted to.

Also, the insurance came through (the doctor's assistant lied to me about that) and my dad got his pills, finally. After about 20 days and one trip to the emergency room, my dad finally has his necessary medication along with a determination to detox from them.

Updated news on the soldier...he may be coming for a few days or so to visit in July. Let's pray that is so. Other than that, last I heard, he had the flu but still had to work (soldiers don't get to call in sick) and is planning on sending me his laptop for me to keep. What a kid!

Work is still the same -there is no change despite promises made. So I am going to have six months of experience at the end of this month and will be going to Thomason on my first Wednesday off to apply for a job. I really want to get into a hospital.

Well, other than that, I have nothing else to tell. Other than my mom and I have finished my Jaden's blanket (will get it to you as soon as possible, Krys), mom's doing alright but I'm still keeping an eye on her, and I am realizing that the guy at work who thinks he's too good for me isn't really good enough for me.

Well, hasta luego!

175.75

I received my first order from Herbalife today! I've ordered before but usually with my stepdad's membership number. This time around I used mine and got a total of 175.75 points. I still need to 300+ to make 500 and get bumped up to a 35% discount.

The good thing is I haven't gained any weight in the past two weeks despite my lack of Herbalife nutrition. So I don't have any gained grown to lose. I am hoping by the end of May to be at 200 LBS. So that means loosing 32 pounds in three months. Ten pounds a month...I can do it.

Other than that, I have no life. Just work, taking care of my parents, and sleeping. Oh yeah, eating too. I seem to be hungry ALL THE TIME. It sucks.

Which reminds me...I'm going to home to have some pancakes.

Will update later on work once there's a result to actions taken by myself and fellow co-workers.

The Hundreth Post

Exhausted. Not just because my first two days, I had a hallway to myself (20 rooms, two patients per room) since there were only four, but because I have to start taking care of my parents. Just in the little ways, such as paying the bills and making sure my mother doesn't overdraw her account. Making doctor appointments for her and for my stepfather. Helping my father set a budget so he doesn't overdraw his account (again) and then taking care of my own crap.

It's exhausting enough having to take care of myself. Trying to figure out a way to take care of my parents on top of that makes me feel like I'm forty not twenty-five. And what's worst, I don't go out and have fun, be a young person, you know?

Instead, I work, sleep, occassionally eat and then do it all over again. It's getting really old, really fast.

I need to get myself a freaking life!!!

Anyway, other than that, new updates. My bones hurt. Not only my bones, but all of my joints. I wake up everyday after getting home from work with swollen hands and stiff fingers. My fingers were hurting all day yesterday. So either it's early onset arthritis (my mother has advanced arthritis, mostly on her back) or it could be something more serious. But will I go to a doctor to get tested for the possibility of cancer? NO.

Why? Because I'm afraid I may actually have cancer ( my father was 25 when he died of lymphoblastic leukemia) and the usual treatment for that is radiation and/or chemotherapy. So if cancer goes into remission, great, but whose going to give me back the opportunity to have children of my own? So no, I will not go to a doctor to get checked despite the bone pain, the joint pain, the leg bruises and the nosebleeds.

Mind over matter...I am fine. Just a little overworked, over tired, underpaid and under fun.

Enough whining. Until later.

Not About Me

I spoke to my brother today. It's been a while since he calls everytime he has the chance.

I think I have shared that my brother, a 21 year old Army soldier, is on his second tour in Iraq. According to the news, and my brother, Iraq is not the place to be at the time. And especially not in my brother's brigade.

I will not divulge information that he may think should be kept in the family, but I am asking for your prayers for his safety as well as the safety of his fellow soldiers.

Keep our military in your prayers. They are risking alot to assure that we live a life of freedom and peace.

The New Year is Here!!!

Happy New Year to All of Ya!!!

I am excited to be starting this new year with 58 pounds less and two sizes smaller.

Of course, I am doing my best not to become obssessed with my weight and to simply enjoy getting healthy. So my next step is working out to getting toned and trimmed.

So far, I have started working out twice a week and have just recently bought ankle weights that I plan to wear to work every night so I can start working out my leg muscles.

Now, I am working on updating my resume so I can start applying to other places. With any luck, I can find a better paying job at a hospital. That's what I want.

Well, now that I think about it, I don't have anything new to update. I guess that means until later.