Things I've Learned At Work

* I learned it can take two hours to place double sided tape on both sides of 150 wooden fan handles if you time everything just right

* I learned that my supervisor thinks of me as a mole because she believes I like to "dig through stuff" just because I'm organized

* I learned that after organizing our albums and marketing supply closet so they could be aesthetically pleasing to the passing eye, I'm considered the "organized freak" of the department

* I learned that vellium paper is easier to fold than cardstock and that I don't plan on having folded invitations for my wedding

* I learned how to "log in" into my phone and that I have to give it a reason as to why I am not in my desk before I leave my desk

* I learned that no matter how hard I hit the keyboard keys, the computer still won't do what I want

* I learned that the soda machine as Dr. Pepper available in the morning but not in the afternoon when I really need one

* I learned that when my supervisor said to holler when I was ready for the next step, she didn't really mean it

* I learned that when I was put in charge of getting supplies for our department, and jokingly stating that I was the Supply Manager for the day as I made lists of who needed what, people were actually hearing "HI, I'm your slave for the day so feel free to interrupt me while I am working to let me know you need office supplies three hours after I asked you and have already brought everything from the back."

* I learned that because someone kept the white-out they borrowed from her, Ava has decided to keep the one she borrowed from me

* I learned that mold gives me migraines, the building gets that moldy smell when it rains, and it has rained for the past two days

* I learned that while I have no computer at my desk, I am still expected to answer my phone and deal with dealers while the computer I am using is on the opposite side of my desk

* I learned having my own cubicle isn't as fun as I had hoped...in fact, it is downright claustrophobic

* I learned that you can hate and develop deep loathing for an inanimate object, namely, my office chair

* I learned that even though I can fold 500 invitations in four hours I am also able to stretch that out for three days

* I learned that even though I am suppose to have an hour for lunch, it is not enough because all I do (as I eat) is lament how much I am hating my job

* I learned that a challenge at this workplace only last between two and five minutes and then I lose interest

* I learned I can look through boxes of supplies transported from the Alabama plant and waste away an hour and a half doing something that would of lasted thirty minutes

* I learned that the morning hours drag and the afternoon hours kill