Corner Gas

This is one of my favorite dialogues between Brent Leroy and Wanda Dollard, two of the characters from the Canadian hit sitcom, Corner Gas

Brent: Hey Wanda, does the milk delivery come today or tomorrow?
Wanda: How about you get off my back for two seconds?
Brent: Sorry to harrang you like that. Didn't mean to bring up work here at work.
Wanda: I might not even be coming to work for awhile.
Brent: What? For how long?
Wanda: Depends...on whether I get charged with manslaughter or murder...I mean, if I walk up to my neighbor -while he's mowing his lawn at 5AM -and say "Hey, it's five AM you inconsiderate sack of crap" and jab a screwdriver into his neck...that would look premeditative, right?
Brent: Well, I'm no lawyer -
Wanda: Or if I rig his lawnmower...so when he starts it up, the blade comes rolling off the thing and guts him like a salmon -hard to prove anybody did anything.
Brent: I see you've thought this through.
Wanda: No, no, no, no...I haven't given...any premeditation to this at all...it just happened.
Brent: I see...I mean, I didn't see anything.
Wanda: Well of course you didn't. You were fast asleep. It was 5AM. Everyone should be. Not up running a gas powered hedge clipper under my window and singing Pat Boone songs at the top of their lungs.
Brent: Well, have you talked to him about -
Wanda: Actually, premeditation is hard to prove, most coaborration involves hearsay, which is often disallowed in court.
Brent: I was just gonna say that.
Wanda: Ah, but if the screwdriver hits his carodoid artery, that would definitely look intentional. Although...an argument could be made as to motivation...you know, state of mind...emotional duress...you know what I'm talking about.
Brent: I know who Pat Boone is.
Wanda: Maybe I'll rig his lawnmower to explode -the mafia gets away with it all the time...
Brent: ...
Wanda: Are you saying I'm not as smart as some mafia thugh? Uh?
Brent: No...I'm not...I'm not saying...Look, just settle down.
Wanda: I know, I know...it's just talk...I'm not gonna kill anybody...but a pellet gun to the cheek might get the point across.
Brent: And now you're being reasonable.
Wanda: Tomorrow.
Brent: Look, don't shoot the guy with a pellet gun.
Wanda: No...tomorrow's milk delivery.
Brent: Oh...well...don't shoot him either.

I love this dialogue because it makes me think of the many conversations I have had with Becca concerning the many plots I have for the many situations that could possibly occur in the future. Well, hope you enjoyed it...I sure did. Oh yeah, get the series...I have all four seasons.