Desperate But Not Hopeless

Last night, I stayed awake wondering what to do. I have rent due in a week and I don't have the money to pay it or the job to make the money. I lasted at least an hour just tossing and turning, wondering why my life is the way it is. Before I drifted off to sleep, I decided to look into a waitress position at the Texas Oakley Bar. It may still happen.

This morning, I got a call from Lacey and was able to head to Wardlaw Claims Service and do an eight hour shift for nine dollars an hour. Unfortunately, I have to wait until tomorrow morning to see if they need me to come in tomorrow for another eight hours. If I can work at least three days total this week, eight hours a day, I can make enough money to pay rent for next month but not enough to pay all my bills.

My phone bill came a little higher than usual this month, and it feels like I am paying credit card bills every other week. It really sucks being an adult in the real world, living on your own and making your own way. Especially when you have this feeling of expectation, of waiting, of being on hold...I hate that.

I've pretty much decided that by the end of this year, I am moving back home if I have a way to do it. Then again, I am looking into moving a little further west...in other words, I am looking into Abiline. If I can get a job there and an affordable apartment, then maybe I can try this whole living on my own thing again.

Well, Columbia didn't happen for me but I managed to deal with that in a way that was totally healthy...Becca was with me, so that was a good thing. We ended up heading to Wal-Mart on Wednesday night and buying a six pack of Jack Daniels' Home Down Punch and I had two (my usual) while we read a partial draft of Midnight Sun, Stephenie Meyer's project in which she was rewriting Twilight from Edward's point of view. Of course, one of the people she trusted with a partial draft with wasn't as solicitous as should have been and the partial draft got out on the internet, which means Stephenie has put the book on hold...indefinitely.

This really pisses me off because that means the completed book may not come out at all and after reading the partial draft, which is available on Stephenie Meyer's website, I am more than anxious to read the complete story and not just what she put up. It didn't even get to my favorite chapter from the Twilight book.

Well, since I don't have much of a life, I decided to start putting up things about one of my favorite past-times...sitcoms! This means I will be posting the best dialogues and monologues from the different sitcoms that I love and own (FRIENDS, SCRUBS, REBA, Corner Gas). This will take some time, and I will make sure and title the blog according to the sitcom that I am referring to.

Prayers are very much appreciated. Thank you for them...don't worry about my emotional or mental stability, no matter how dark my comments and such may be...I am feeling desperate but not hopeless...God has my back and I have hope.