Exhausted. Not just because my first two days, I had a hallway to myself (20 rooms, two patients per room) since there were only four, but because I have to start taking care of my parents. Just in the little ways, such as paying the bills and making sure my mother doesn't overdraw her account. Making doctor appointments for her and for my stepfather. Helping my father set a budget so he doesn't overdraw his account (again) and then taking care of my own crap.
It's exhausting enough having to take care of myself. Trying to figure out a way to take care of my parents on top of that makes me feel like I'm forty not twenty-five. And what's worst, I don't go out and have fun, be a young person, you know?
Instead, I work, sleep, occassionally eat and then do it all over again. It's getting really old, really fast.
I need to get myself a freaking life!!!
Anyway, other than that, new updates. My bones hurt. Not only my bones, but all of my joints. I wake up everyday after getting home from work with swollen hands and stiff fingers. My fingers were hurting all day yesterday. So either it's early onset arthritis (my mother has advanced arthritis, mostly on her back) or it could be something more serious. But will I go to a doctor to get tested for the possibility of cancer? NO.
Why? Because I'm afraid I may actually have cancer ( my father was 25 when he died of lymphoblastic leukemia) and the usual treatment for that is radiation and/or chemotherapy. So if cancer goes into remission, great, but whose going to give me back the opportunity to have children of my own? So no, I will not go to a doctor to get checked despite the bone pain, the joint pain, the leg bruises and the nosebleeds.
Mind over matter...I am fine. Just a little overworked, over tired, underpaid and under fun.
Enough whining. Until later.
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