Ready? Waiting...

I've put in a total of twenty four hours at First Baptist Preschool. I've taken care of one year olds and younger...the youngest being two months.

I spend all day hugging, kissing, patting, praising, feeding, burping, changing, cleaning, straigthening, playing and disciplining. You would think after two hours, I'd be fed up.

Well, I would think that too. Two years ago, I would have quit my job by now...afterall, when I was working at Redeemer, I only lasted three or four days in the nursery before I requested to be moved to the older (and already potty trained) kids.

Now, I can't help but enjoy cuddling a two month old as he takes his bottle (this being Jesse who likes to drink his bottle while he stares into my eyes...I introduced myself to him as Jesse Gumtow Jr. due to a joke with my friend Jesse when I decided to change my name so I could run off to Costa Rica and not be found) or talking to a blue eyed two month old girl named Ginger while I change her diaper (I tell her that while wiggling may be cute, it makes my job to put her in a clean dry diaper a little harder and she doesn't want to do that, does she?)

It has always been my belief that taking care of infants and young children is the perfect birth control...which always worked with me in the past. Everytime I said I wanted a baby and I ended up dealing with little kids I realized, Ha! No way Jose! No kiddos for me!

Now...I am twenty-four and that particular birth control is no longer working. I e-mailed Stephen to ask if my discovering patience with youngsters I knew I didn't have before meant that I was ready to be a mother...and I told him that I was going to have to wait because, obviously, though I may be ready for that responsibility, nothing else in my life lines up for it.

I couldn't help but laugh at his response to my statement that I want to do the parenting thing the right way so that I may not suffer consequences.

"...marriage THEN sex THEN babies." So, Stephen, does the capitalized THEN mean that there is no other order? Oh, you crack me up.

So I am ready to be a mother...so now all I have to do is wait for God to let me know when it is time. Wait for something that may or may not be in His will for me. Wait for someone that may or may not be the one He has in mind for me.

A whole lot of waiting and not much happening. Patience and trust is obviously essential as I wait...wait and watch as my life goes by, as the things that I want and desire drift further and further away.

Oh well. God's plans are perfect, His ways unattainable. So I wait...wait until He gives me what He wills.

Enough of that sob fest. I bet by now, you are pretty depressed along with me. Yeah, sorry.

Aside from that, I have a dentist appointment next Wednesday to get a molar pulled out...Becca's coming up to Waco to drive me to and from the office, since I won't be able to drive. Supposedly getting a tooth pulled messed with your sense of balance. Anybody ever heard of that?

Today, after work, I volunteered to do face painting for the Pumpkin Patch Festival that First Baptist Church had from 5pm to 7:30pm. It was fun painting kids faces. Flowers, rainbows, pumpkins, Spider Man, skulls and cross bones, hearts, butterflies. Allowed me to release some creative energy PLUS spend time with kids that I didn't have to take care of.

Well, I may have tomorrow morning off if there's no need for a substitute teacher. Otherwise, I'll just be doing two and a half hours with the infants in the afternoon. Gives me time to go to the Waco Municipal Court to finish taking care of my citation.

Either than that, and the need to do laundry (sadly, I only have enough change for one load of laundry), I don't have anything else to update on.

Wait! I do! I now wake up smiling and feeling happy...it has been five months since I've felt joy at heading off to work.