It has been so long since I've gotten to just sit back, eat ice cream and watch the friendship movie SWEET HOME ALABAMA with my bestie. For that reason, we decided to make a ice cream and movie date...despite the miles that separate us. And because we are both movie quote nerds, we decided to share as many of the quotes that we can from the movie on a blog and see how many are the same. So no one else needs to read this except the bestie involved.
~*~
"Answer the question."
"No."
"No you won't answer or no you won't marry me?"
"Jake Perry, I'm ten years old. I've got too much to live for."
~*~
"We'll be safe here."
"Says who?"
"Everybody...lightning never strikes the same place twice."
"Why do you want to marry me for anyhow?"
"So I can kiss you anytime I want."
~*~
"Not us, just you. I just make the coffee."
~*~
"One man for the rest of my life? I'd cry my bloody eyes out."
~*~
"He's loud but he don't bite. How may I help you?"
"Well, for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce. Come on, Jake, let's just finish this."
"You're shitting me, right?"
"You know, I never understood that expression but no, I'm not shitting you."
~*~
"Don't pretend that you've missed me."
"Oh, I missed you alright but at this range, my aim is bound to improve."
~*~
"Honey, get your ass back in that car, go see your folks and then maybe we'll talk."
"Don't you honey me, honey."
~*~
"Jake! You dumb stubborn redneck hick! The only reason you won't give me a divorce is because I want you to."
"Wrong! The only reason I won't give you a divorce is because you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothing better than to piss you off!!!"
~*~
"Hey, genius. Next time you try locking someone out, make sure they don't know where the spare key is."
"See, that's the funny think about hideakeys...it'd be nice if your wife told you where it was."
"I'm not your wife, Jake. I'm just...I'm just the first girl to climb into the back of your truck. But you're right...I have changed. I'm not that girl anymore."
"Well, allow me to remind you."
~*~
"You make clothes right?"
"I design them, there's a difference."
"Design anything with stripes?"
"You called the sheriff? You know that old bastard hates me!"
"And with good reason."
~*~
"Did he take a swing at you? Cause if you tell me he took a swing at you, I'll take him right in. We take that kind of stuff pretty serious nowadays."
~*~
"Oh, and I suppose shoplifting steaks at Win Dixies is alright?"
"Oh! Oh! I took them back and you know it!"
"That vandalism down at the stockyard? Totally her!"
"Like I can tip a cow by myself!"
"Wade...isn't there some outstanding warrant for whoever tipped your mama's tractor into the pond?"
GASP
~*~
"Mama, I only have three minutes."
"Oh, honey, you didn't have to call, just come on by."
"Well, see, that's the thing. I was sort of hoping daddy could come and get me?"
~*~
"So what put you in jail this time?"
"Jake and his big fat mouth."
~*~
"Oh, honey, are you tired? You look tired...oh, you know, maybe it's the way you where your hair now."
~*~
"I see your priorities...Jake, jail and then home."
~*~
"The boy's going places."
"Once upon a time you were going places too."
~*~
"You look like sex on a stick in that Gregory Montana get-up."
"Listen Bubba, why don't you just kiss my -ass! Oh my God!"
"Now, listen lady, I don't do that sort of thing out in the street."
~*~
"I guess we all have our secrets, don't we Bobby Ray?"
"I guess we do...course, I read about yours on the internet."
~*~
"Yeah, I gotta get back to the factory but are you in town for a while?"
"God, I hope not...I'm just hitting the bank."
"Well, I'd better scram!"
~*~
"Oh, them things. Russ don't want to put one in on account we lose personal contact with the customers."
~*~
"Cut the shit. Where's my stuff?"
"Now, what kind of wife would I be if I didn't pick up after my husband?"
"The kind that don't live here. I'm going to ask you one last time...where's the hideakey?"
"I had the sweetest talk with Wade's mama about her tractor."
"Nice to see you got your accent back."
~*~
"Holy shit! What happened to the stove? Oh! Where are the little magnets I had over here? What the hell is this...chick food?"
"Lite beer...less calories."
~*~
"Whatever blows your dress up darlin'. You go right ahead and spend your money."
"Oh, but darlin', I thought you said we should think of it as our money."
~*~
"How much did you take?"
"All of it."
"Son of a bitch!"
"You want a wife, you got a wife! And what are you doing with all that cash? Why don't you invest it? Don't you know anything?"
~*~
"I don't ask you about your boyfriend, you keep your nose out of my life. Deal?"
"Who told you?"
"Honey, just 'cause I talk slow doesn't mean I'm stupid."
~*~
"Nobody finds their soul mate when they're ten years old. I mean, where's the fun in that, right?"
~*~
"Uh-Eh! Batten down the hatches, look who just walked right back into my life! It's my favorite daughter-in-law!"
~*~
"Who's the lucky guy?"
"His name's Andrew. He's in politics."
"Well, he's got my vote."
~*~
"Hell, I've got three more at home. This one's still on the tit so I can cart him anywhere."
~*~
"You must be Jake's hot date."
"I'm Star."
"I'm Melanie, Jake's Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man."
"Hot dog Jake! Look at the size of that thing!"
~*~
"Not her and I us, you and I us."
~*~
"Come on, guys, grab a stick and let's play some pool. If you can't find a cue, pull the one shoved up her ass."
~*~
"Well, see, that's the problem. I'm not a watch and see kind of gal. Am I, Jake?"
~*~
"Like Elton here...he never could get his balls in the right pocket."
~*~
"How can I forget? That's the night Jake got me pregnant."
"Why don't you just go public with that shit?"
"Oh please, like anyone can keep a secret around here...except for Bobby Ray."
"Now, what did I ever do to you?"
"You didn't do anything to me honey...or any other girl in town."
~*~
"I liked her better when she was crazy."
~*~
"Go get them Yankees."
~*~
"People need a passport to come down here."
~*~
"We weren't aiming for you...but I doubt I would of come to your funeral."
"I guess I don't blame you."
~*~
"Damn button trousers...no wonder we lost the war."
~*~
"Aren't you just a big fat liar?"
~*~
"Oh, honey, you drink that from the top."
~*~
"I'm not as clumsy as I look. She just can't keep time."
~*~
"The hell you say. Let me at him."
~*~
"You can't have both wings and roots, Mel. It's one or the other."
~*~
"Fifth regiment! Has anyone seen Earl Smooter?"
"He's about to surrender!"
~*~
"You and I are in love with two different people."
"Is he your second cousin?"
"He's my husband...I mean, ex-husband."
"You married your cousin?"
~*~
"Don't you go accusing me of thinking."
~*~
"For somebody who's been holding on to something so hard, you're pretty quick to let it go."
"Hell, mama, I can't control her anymore than I can control the weather."
~*~
"Well, he may be a Yankee, but at least he's sober."
~*~
"Mr. Beauford...he signed the papers."
"He did...you didn't."
~*~
"Can't ride two horses with one ass, sugar pea."
~*~
"The truth is...I gave my heart away a long time ago. My whole heart...and I never really got it back."
~*~
"You...in my entire life, I have never met anyone so manipulative...so deceitful...and I'm in politics! I won't have the future president of the United States get dumped at the altar by some psycho Daisy Mae. You go after him you little bitch!"
"Now, there's no need for name calling. She spoke her piece and that's all there is to it."
"Oh, go back to your double wide and fry something."
GASP
"Nobody talks to my mama like that!"
"Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!"
~*~
"Hey cowboy! You owe me a dance."
"Nice dress. Where's your husband?"
"I'm looking at him. Apparently, you and I are still hitched."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah...why didn't you tell me you came to New York?"
"I needed to make something of myself."
"You about done?"
"What is it about you Southern girls? You can't make the right decision so you try all the wrong ones?"
"At least I fight for what I want."
"What is it that you want, Melanie? I don't even think you know."
"You're the first boy I ever kissed Jake. I want you to be the last."
"Maybe you and I already had our chance."
"Fine! Have it your way you stubborn ass!"
~*~
"What the hell are you two trying to do? Get yourselves killed?"
~*~
"What she'd do this time, Officer?"
"Seems she ran out on a perfectly good cake."
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Done! Now to publish and compare to Becca's post!
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