Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Selfish and Self-Centered

I unintentionally hurt a very close friend yesterday. Without meaning to or even thinking about it, I made her feel like she wasn't good enough to help me out during my freak out session.

I have my moments when I can't seem to see beyond my nose and look at what others are feeling and thinking...unfortunately for this sinner, those moments are more often than my selfless moments.

Because of those moments, I find myself hurting others with my inability to look beyond my own petty problems and crisis in a glass and see that they are simply trying to help me focus on what's truly the only answer -the all encompassing control of God and His love.

I beg for your forgiveness Becca, for being so focused in myself that I wasn't able to see that you were simply doing what was right -pointing me towards the cross. Don't think your efforts went unnoticed...thanks to your reminder to pray over what was scaring me, I did just that...out loud on my way to work.

You are right -God is so big that He's got me right in the hollow of His hand...there is no way of me falling off of it...even when I try to jump off it.

It's a comfort to know that...there's no way down. God pulled me out of the pit and He's not going to let me fall into it...and that's why He's blessed me with a friend like you to remind me, constantly because I'm such a dunce, that He's got a tight grip on me...He's placed a hedge around me to protect me and help me grow into a better woman in Christ.

Becca, you have been a wonderful influence in God's shaping of me and you will continue to be so. Meanwhile, I beg you to forgive my blunders and self-centered moments. I cannot promise it won't happen again because I'll have just lied but I promise to be more open to look beyond my nose next time around.

Becca, I love you very much. You are my friend, my twin, my confidant, my mentor, my adviser, my voice of reason and my kindred spirit. I cannot imagine life without you in it and I do not plan on not having you in my life every step of the way -until I die at 85 or get eaten by a bear, whichever comes first.

Thank you for being the wonderful chameleon friend that you are...you are what I need every time I need it, even if I'm not aware of it at the moment.

Oh, and thank you for making me open my Bible...a reminder to always listen to the Voice of God.

The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands forever."

Isaiah 40:8

Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"?

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God; the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:27-31

It is interesting to see what each person grasps when reading the same Scripture. While Becca was enthralled with the concept of a God so big He holds the entire oceans in the very hollow of His hand (I too found this enthralling), I found it ever increasingly more comforting to know that my God, our God, never tires or wearies...His understanding never falters and He is always, ALWAYS, there to hold us up when we stumble, when we fall flat on our faces and feel like we just don't have it in us to get back up.

From the hollow of His hand to His limitless strength and understanding, He is a God that will take on everything...and make it better.

God be praised in all His glory and splendor!

No comments: